"For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.' Then they also will answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?' Then he will answer them, saying, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me."
Matthew 25:42-45 ESV
Mission has its way of transforming people. I read somewhere that many modern churches crave for revival as an end to itself, but what the Christian body really needs is a transformation. The Wesleys revolution was cited as archetype for this transformatiom, and that is for very good reasons.
Mission is like that too. For one, mission humbles. The value of stepping into the unknown is a journey of looking beyond what you are good at. I arrive at a phase with complete denial of any remaining strength, but a deep conviction that I am indeed very weak.
Mission meets the need. 2 very wholesome discussion with 2 sold out nepali brothers bring so much light; more so, bring so much hope, faith and love into the works.
"Leave the evangelism to the locals, because of the language barrier; you come and train the Nepali Churches, equip them. Nepali Churches are easy to start but difficult to manage."
"The only reason why Singapore is blessed and given so much is so that she can be a blessing to others. No other regions are like Singapore, and there can be no other reasons for Singapore to be given such undeserved favour."
"Organized short term mission trips are important and appreciated. 20-30 years of seeds sown; God will cause the growth."
"Mission works are not constrained within the definitive scope of spiritual growth. It is a whole package- influencing the social, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects. What good is there to tell a person to have faith when he's mot having enough to eat? That is biblical. So come and bring ideas, bring knowledge, bring experiences, share with us. Help us to progress, help us to grow."
In all that we do, give thanks to God in everything, knowing that He is constantly at work, in line or apart from our plans. Give thanks, regardless.
1 Kings 19:14 "And I alone am left." A very deep sense of abandonment. The nice word used was "entrust", but the reality felt more like offloaded. For 2 months now, it felt like a lonely journey. If I had been able to muster my full capacity, I think I would have risen to the challenge. I have plans, directions, goals, and a keen passion to drive in this new role, except that my time has already been thinly spread. I need support, I need inputs, I need someone to shoulder this together with me. The constant assurance that I was the right man for the job felt like little more than a quick fix to alleviate any sense of anxiety. I am the right man, indeed (it felt like I was the right man only because no one else was willing to take on that role). Then the devil came around and planted thoughts to sow discord, stirring up bitterness and displeasure about the present state. What kind of leader would do this kind of thing for his flock. Repeated rebuffs and laissez faire- "you are doing fine, good in fact." Well, not really... I'm actually having a lot of uncertainty and I would really appreciate more support and guidance. And in times like that, you learn and you grow. Either you continue to spiral down that whirlpool of death, or you swim with all your might against the flow to get out from there. In this case, to renounce the negative thoughts and work things out. So I realized, that even in times like that (wherever we might be), this too is a journey with God. The negative thoughts and the helplessness ought to be left at the foot of the cross. Whoever gave the assignment, God continues to be a huge part of that journey. Corrie Ten Boom, "I learn to hold all things loosely, so God will not have to pry them from my hands." This assignment belongs to God also. Hold things loosely, even in the face of a tight deadline; in the face of increased demands; in the face of high expectations; in the face of the need to deliver; in the face of the need to provide certainty in the midst of uncertainty; in the face of the greater good. I am feeling the pressure, but God says come to me all those who are weary. I have high hopes and a huge vision and expectation for reality to match up to; but Scripture says many are the plans of men, but ultimately it is the will of God that will prevail. I am taking a long deep breath. I am going to take it slowly. Maybe that would mean the falling short of deadline; or leaving of things in the limbo, but God continues to be my comfort and my anchor. Hold things loosely, and let God be God.
"There is a time to be silent and a time to speak." Ecclesiastes 3:7 I came across an article about the world's expectation of an outstanding kid - one who must be smart, confident, witty and well, outspoken. Even interviewed teachers and researchers conceded about their tendencies to pay more attention to the children who are more proactive in answering questions. That, pretty much, sets the tone the world is painted in - speaking is good, a demonstration of knowledge, genuine care, ownership and perhaps a sense of participation. The same could be translated to the Christian scene. In a meeting dominated by Christians, it is a common sight to take verbal detours to talk about related and unrelated stuff, often leaving the core issues unaddressed. After all, isn't it a Christian thing to share about lives, talk about underlying issues, and (I'm not leaving that out) to express love and concern. Beyond fellowship and Christian communion, we see the same in our relating with God. We say a whole lot of Christianese to express our identity, and we mutter a whole lot of words in our prayers. Then it beckons me to wonder, where in all of our "doing Christianity" is that time to be silent? In the Bible, it is said that speaking in tongues without love renders a person to at best be a loud gong and cymbal, making meaningless noises. So we all know that love is an action, and speaking devoid of action is futile. What if listening is as much a huge part of communication as speaking? What if to produce the whole package of love, we need to listen rather than speak? And sometimes, to listen doesn't mean an airtime for the other person to speak, but to allow the One to have His say? In our prayers, in our communion, in our intercession, in every aspect of our walk with Him. To let God be God and us adopting a humble posture of waiting instead of the active notion of petitioning and telling God what to do. The article has an interesting abbreviation using the word "WAIT". While wait literally means to wait, it also stands for "Why Am I Talking"? Indeed, in the occupying of every airtime, why don't we ask ourselves if we are talking just to make ourselves feel comfortable, feel productive, feel good, or feel spiritual? If prayers are indeed as many would put it "communications with God", then perhaps it's time to start listening.
I became a Christian, and what changed? I started going to church when I was 17; I adopted the practice of saying grace before meal; I learnt the Christianese and began littering my conversations with those lingo; I modelled my prayers on the most spiritual-looking person in church; I read the bible and many other Christian books; I go for occasional mission trips; I attend Christian conferences; I echo loudly yes and amen whenever the man in front preach a spiritual-sounding word and the list goes on. So, in a way many things changed. I became the public Christian, but that is not the kind of Christian the bible describes. When you pray, do not use many words (Matthew 6:5); when you do good works, do not let your right hand know what your left hand does (Matthew 6:3), when you fast, act normal (Matthew 6:16). See, while there are many "Christian activities", the way we go about doing them are more internal than external; more God-centred than me-centred. The Christian way fixes the person. Yes, it fixes me rather than my circumstances. So, by becoming fixed, amongst the many things that change, I am the chief change. I have to change. I pray that God would help me pray for my circumstances and surrender. I pray that God would help me stop fighting Him and let Him fight for me. I pray that I would surrender my all, so that I can win in all because I am on God's side. I pray that I would stop complaining, and stop seeing things with my physical eyes, and stop letting anger and bitterness determine my stance and attitude in all the places that I walk. I pray that in all these many difficult moments that are hard to come to terms with, I would be given that conscientious awareness that by trusting in God, that means I ought to duck by kneeling down. By fixing my eyes upon Him, His grace would flow into every aspect of my life. I pray that I would stop looking at things that I ought not to have control in and become disappointed, but to focus on the one vision that God has placed upon my life. I pray that in all these things, God would help me to become so reliant on Him, that the only fear that bothers me is the fear of becoming distant from Him. I pray that I will always pray.
What better ways to begin a reflective/prospective journal piece with the typical "the year has flown by too quickly". The truth of the matter is that is indeed the unspoken truth. Yet, the atypical thing about 2015 is the sheer amount of milestones that have taken place. Barring the fact that there were no major tournaments in the footballing sense, 2015 has seen well, the wrong crowning of pageant (the candidate from Philippines is gorgeous). And she described the peculiar experience as "very 2015" when interviewed.
2015 has seen many unexpected things happening, even more so at a very personal level. So I described my 2015 in 3 major events: first full year at work, first time joining the Church's board, and the first time becoming cell-less in the Christian body. To sum it up, it has been a difficult year of extreme isolation- isolated in an extreme manner, but very much self-induced. In conclusion, it was no where near ideal, but a less than perfect experience forces improvement and hones a person. So through this period, I've learnt much.
I learnt about the importance of unity, not just in church, but in the workplace and at home as well. So gossips are very sharp knives that slice so finely, that before we knew it, things are already falling apart. So unity is the hallmark of a Christian's influence, and a sincerely-wrong good intention, while sincere, does more harm than good. Unity means it's more important to stick together and get through things side by side than to get ahead; unity means denying of self; unity means you are more important than I being right. Unity is important, period.
I learnt that negativity spreads, and 201X was the year whereby self-justification became so so prevalent. I've been quoting Proverbs 21:2 since the turn of the year, but it never stared down so bluntly as it did in the past 1 year. So in this entire man of sorrow mode, I made enemy with the whole world. Talking about self-induced isolation. (I still dread what I see, but I do believe there are better ways to deal with it).
I learnt that I am actually pretty awesome. At 24 years of age, I've given away more than 20 grand in cash for various good causes. Barring the fact that statistically we are probably in the top few percentile in terms of wealth, I think I have given away more money than many people my age, and my kind of financial background, ever would. So I should be kinder to myself and focused on areas to improve on, and not how I am so different (in an unacceptable way from every one else). I really should stop making enemies.
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In the upcoming year, while I will be spending my countdown at work, there are a few things that I really wish to accomplish.
I want to learn a new skill. This is the "duh" thing, and it always appears around this time of the year. And the overly ambitious me always render me to fail big time in this area because there are just so many things that I set out to do. So for 2016, I specifically want to learn how to rollerblade. This should be manageable, and KISS should fit and work fine.
I want to become fitter. My BMI has loitered around 25 for the past 3-4 years already, and my attempt to lose weight has been on-off at best. But the audience effect at work is doing me good, and if I sustain this routine of running every morning, this too should be on track.
I want to settle into this workplace as soon as possible. While, I am finally closing up for official duties and appointments, things take time for me to get used to and comfortable with. This is the first time when I can finally stop transiting, so the sooner I get acclimatised, the faster I can get down to making the positive impact that I so desire to make. 2016 would be the time.
I want to establish and start doing something real, sustainable and substantial in the mission scene. This has to come from a deep communion with my God, so beefing up my spiritual walk would be a top top priority during this period too.
A healthier me, a more loved me, a happier me, a more positive me, a more powerful me, a more reliable me, a more competent me, a better friend. 2016 here I come.
In our search for life's greater purpose, many have seemed to diverge onto different paths, each to his own convictions.
If that search had been as straightforward as a singular goal, things would have been a lot simpler, except that the journey to its attainment is also the one to its discovery. The greater purpose morphs over time.
However, one probably would not go wrong by suggesting that the way to go is somewhat upward- whether be it leaving a lasting legacy, making a positive impact, bringing about a movement, changing the course of history, or transforming the lives of people. The general trend goes up, and that inevitably focuses our attention on the tangibles- how to get more influence, how to network, how to be more effective, how to publicise, how to rally, how to garner more resources. If you find this familiar, that is because it mirrors closely to how secular businesses are ran. Churches create marketing departments, while NGOs make publicity a major thrust of their efforts.
So in our efforts to fulfil the great calls of our lives, we seem to have forfeited the fundamentals of what we have been shown- that it is the weak, small and oftentimes unspectacular through whom God likes to work with. It is unfortunate, but to say that it is far from what God has intended would be hugely inaccurate. God's great plan and grace have enough room for men to work our ways around, and all of us would have to concede organised and ESTABLISHED groups have impacted humanity in tremendous ways that they must have been blessed by God. Think Campus Crusade for Christ, The Salvation Army, World Vision, etc.
Therefore, my sentiment does not aim to discount the credibility or the fruits bore by the efforts that precede me. Instead, I hope what I wrote would become an encouragement to the ones who are discouraged, struggling, confused and helpless.
"So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honoured by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."
Matthew 6:2-4
I caution against bitterness. "gimmicks", that is what I used to label anything that has a tinge of semblance to well, gimmicks. So an exaggerated piece of promotion video (to me) is a classic piece of gimmick, a large scale event graced by celebrities is another elaborated piece of gimmick. So while the intention might have been good or even Godly, somewhere deep within I harboured some sort of bitterness - toward a perceived failed promise, and a perceived sense of being under-appreciated. It was not easy.
See, that's why Jesus placed so much emphasis on the denial of self, because it is so normal for us to expect something in return. In a culture deeply ingrained in our eastern root, this is especially so. But service unto God is selfless first. So in all our efforts to do more and more, bigger and bigger things, it helps to refocus, and it helps to take solace in His promise- that the things done in secret will be rewarded by our Father.
I've embedded one of my favourite videos below, one that I feel perfectly encapsulates the kind of joy that is so untainted and untouched. It was about a super agent's encounter with a missed prodigy. Missed, because he never became a professional. The exchange climaxed when the agent asked him "do you know the kind of impact that would have come with your fame?" The missed prodigy replied, matter-of-factly, "you bet I do. In fact I think about it all the time, the kind of audience that I would have had, the magnitude of things that I could do with it." At this point, he turned and looked at his backyard, "but you know each time I look at these children," and he proceeded to name them one by one, and he continued, "they make the most important decision in their lives here. Being able to be a part of that and having the honour to witness that. Here, in this backyard, this is my Yankee stadium."
Obscurity is no obscurity when my life is not lived for my own. Climbing to heights has its own danger of forgetting the initial purpose; working for heights create frustration; desiring heights contaminates the motivation. It is only when we, like what Jesus commanded, deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Him, can we truly experience the joy of fulfilling the greater purpose in life. See, if the greater purpose is bigger than me and my life, it has to be given by Someone who is bigger and greater than me. God gives, and repeatedly in the new testament, Jesus mentioned about this fullness of life in John 10:10, and Paul mentioned about a purpose that God's lovers have been called to.
Our promise is in heaven. Woe to me who have garnered fame and wealth in this world, for my eyes are fixed upon the throne room, where my ultimate reward is found in Christ. So I pray that God help me fix my eyes upon the first love, the initial conviction, so that bitterness will not pose a hindrance nor a cause for jealousy to disrupt the work in Christ.
Where does helping begin? Somehow being Christian is almost synonymous to giving help. After all, the bible emphasises much on loving your neighbour- what better ways to express this love than helping them. Don't get me wrong- this is definitely not just an extrapolation of the motherhood statement to love all and hate none. The bible is quite explicit when it comes to helping- clothe the cold, feed the hungry, visit the sick. So let me ask again? Where then does helping begin? In the year of 2015, my second year into becoming a full-fledged self-sustaining working adult was also the second year when I experienced the tension of giving. One such tensions was the tension of competing needs: in a world so extensively connected and a hub like Singapore whereby you get access to information about the Syrian crisis, the plane crash, the earthquakes, the floods, the pandemics, the human trafficking, the wars, the refugee crisis; frankly, how do you help? William Wilberforce's impactful challenge to not turn a blind eye to the situation around us, while appealing and compelling, edges close to the side of impracticality and unreal. So granted, over the years the forerunners and our predecessors, in the name of efficiency and wisdom-sharing, have much to advise- the dummy's guide to choosing a worthy cause to help with. Except that perhaps, over time many have missed the point. A "worthy cause" is the issue. I am sponsoring a child whom I love dearly. I call him my son. My eyes glow each time I speak about him. In fact, I love to talk about him, the cause, the impact and the possibilities that entail with all these givings. And I reckon people like to hear about it too. They might have been inspired even. But that's about as far as "feeling good gets". Recently, I was sharing about this meaningful cause to a friend, who went as far as to express his interest to do likewise. That was until he also shared about his intent to ensure success. To quote his exact words, "if I were to give, I would want to ensure that the child is successful." Who wouldn't? Seriously, I want my child to become a vagabond (sarcasm added)! Following up with that, how many of us could beat our chest and say "I could". The reality of the matter is that none of us can ensure success- even for our own children who may live through their childhood under our close supervision, given the best education and preparation programs, they may not guarantee success still; much less in an environment much harsher than what we have been accustomed to. That, is the problem. We make pre-requisites in the name of prudence, and we apply the concept of investments when we consider whether or not to give to a cause. We seem to forget that when God chose us, we were the least qualified to do His works, much less, worthy of His Son. Look again, and we see the likes of Peter, Paul, Matthew, James, John, David, Jonah, Rahab, Jacob, Moses, and yes even Judas Iscariot. These people had been chosen and used by God in varying degrees throughout the course of history, and God being all knowing included the least likely of candidates as part of His ace-team; even those who would ultimately fail Him- the likes of Judas and Gehazi, and to a lesser extent, Solomon. That, is the beauty. God teaches us to look at possibilities instead of statistics; an empty vessel waiting to be filled instead of a broken vessel that can never be filled. Granted, limited resources, high demands, lack, are some of the very real challenges we face; and being prudent is perhaps justifiable in that light. Yet, we need to be mindful if we choose to track that course. Philippians 4:8 helps to frame out mind in a manner that is Christ-like and Christ-centred- think about all that is true, noble, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. Period. Everything else is worries uncalled for; serving only to cloud our purity and crowd out all that is good. Allowing the possibility to fail is where God would come through in His wholeness- when all else fail, in our weaknesses His strength is shown, and He deserves all the glory. That, is the mandate given to us. To love, to care, to walk alongside is our part; to transform, to reciprocate, to grow is God's. In fact, the only mandate that has some sort of a string attached is when it comes to teaching- teach a child so that he will not turn to the left or right when he grows up (Proverbs 22:6). Therefore it is high time that we relook at our motives in all our good intent to obey God's commandment- what it means to deny ourselves and follow Him. I suggest, one of the areas that we ought to first deny ourselves is the tendency for us to assume saviour. Trust me, it feels good to be needed, and it definitely is addictive to feel important. The moment we drop these, we would be more willing to go low; go to their level and then perhaps, we would become more generous with our giving and less ready with our skepticism. There is value in the old wisdom of "putting ourselves in other people's shoes". These shoes fit better when we go low. The moment we drop these, things like disappointment would almost certainly mean very different things; because dropping these allows us to take up our right place to let God be God. Things like results and outcomes are God's portion, while we take up the straightforward part of serving, harvesting, and trusting in His promises. Unconditional giving is inspired by love, and God is love.
