I want to forgo the usual rants about how the year had been long, filled with ups and downs, or even character building. That has to be the case- the default-anyways. As we grow older, our responsibilities increase, and more is entrusted to us, and with more things filled into the same amount of time, it definitely has to feel longer; 365 days, with more things, especially when the complexity level heightens, it is difficult not to have both ups and downs in any single year; with the ups and downs, having come through a year, it must have been character building anyways.
What truly has been THE lesson of 2013 is really how “what it looks like may not be what it really is”. Of course there were many other good insights and takeaway from this year, but I think none can deviate much away from this. It began with the development of an aversion toward this: “I love you that’s why I want to share the good news with you” versus “I want to convert you, that’s why I am loving you”. Both look alike,but the heart of it differs so much! Subsequently, I realized that the same principle could be applied in practically every interpretation, which is why doctrinal differences emerge. When works are done apart from the big purpose; when works become an ends to itself; when purpose and works swap role, and the former becomes the fuel for the latter… Matthew 7:22-23.
The gauge of a person’s spirituality cannot be measured by his/her works- it’s not by the number of healing, the sophistication of prayer, the amount of mission trips, the number of conversion or things of sorts, but by the person’s fruits. So what if we are getting visitations from angels, and so what if we are moving in marvelous ways… Saul was an appointed king who voided his anointing by not bearing fruits- he was handpicked, he had the best, but he failed to bear fruits… Even as I move into the spiritual realm, I am cautious. While my beings shout "let it go" along with Elsa from "Frozen", I want this to be an overflow indeed. Not an active pursuit, but let this seeking birth out of a desire to steward what God has put within me. During the covenant service, one line read "let me be filled; let me be emptied", the second half caught me and reminded myself of what I did in Kupang and Tanjong Pinang over the past 2 years. People can have millions of opinions about how things are done, and people can have preference of how they want to serve, but for me I just want to love. That's why I chose to be with the kids, that's why I chose to hang around with the locals.
My 3 principles of my faith:
1. Just love (love anyways)
2. Guilt, doubt, fear, I want no part in any of those.
3. Optimism is a Christian trait.
Take it in- I think the Christian notion of “not caring about what other people say” should be taken in the context of knowing in your heart and spirit that you are (attempting to) pleasing God, that is why what other people say don’t matter. (Unfortunately, many people use that to justify the lack of efforts or laziness or convenience on our parts). I am thankful because I’ve been justified and my fruits had been witnessed, by His grace, I’ve indeed been justified.
By that, I’m learning to be more careful to assess the fruits of others and decide for myself who are swine and dogs (Matthew 7:6) and to whom I should offer my pearls. I know I have much to offer, but that is only for those who can and will receive.
Also,I’m learning to assess my own walks and not get absorbed into the forms. Some people do evangelism a certain way, others have a certain bible study format.These are all useful tools, but I’m more concern about the heart…
I had a lot of fun in 2013- Gold Coast, Taiwan, Kupang, minor episodes of nitty stuff- but I think that one lesson had been a threading theme.
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