Ideal ways are well, ideal, but sometimes an ideal option may not be the best option.
Simply because uncontrollable factors reign in our lives, and being in an uncontrolled situation is a marker for trust (relinquishing control and saying that "I don't know better").
What would you do if you fall in love with a non-believer? Some say oh I would not commit, I would share my faith with him/her, and then I would bring him/her to church. Hopefully he/she is open and receptive enough to find out more, and it would be ideal if he/she subsequently comes to know Jesus for him/herself rather than for the boy/girlfriend. Everyone knows what ought to follow: then the he/she will suddenly have a burst in his/her walk with God, and then suddenly match up to my depth of faith, and we would get married, and we would complement each other so well, that the Kingdom of God will be glorified through our family. Oh did I forget to add, both of us would raise the family so well, that it will become the epitome of a Godly marriage.
Ideal? Sounds awesome? Definitely!
But I personally find this challenging and view upon it as the beginning of a compromise, a teeny weeny small one. Doesn't it sound like an excuse to bypass an explicit law to 2 Corinthians 6:14. The speakers got it spot on to say that the law is to protect and to free rather than to control and restrain, but it's funny how this gave way so easily at the slightest nudge/attempt to "make it sound more encompassing".
Granted, in our midst there are living and glowing examples to justify the above, but I also think it's a huge discredit to God's grace at work, when anything could have gone wrong through the whole journey, but His grace stretched further still. It is perhaps self-righteous to claim any bits of credits to say that I hung on, I continued to believe, I always prayed for him/her, I continue to hope, etc. And even more so, to think that we could handle it when it comes. I tell you, we can't! At least, I can't! There are people who can, but most can't!
In an age where many stands driven by passion and feelings, it becomes ever more important to teach about the protective and freeing nature of the law, than to find the most socially and logically acceptable solution to perhaps weave past explicit no-nos.
Am I saying that God's grace won't be sufficient for that, and what He has done before He wouldn't do again? No! But what I am saying is we should not abuse God's grace! Romans 6:1.
Evangelism is a good thing, and it's God's design for men's living, but a romantic relationship is not a tool for that, in any sense.
Now take God's grace out of the picture. If the guy never comes to Christ, then what are we gonna do. We can always say that oh well, I didn't commit so I'm safe, maybe. But how many of us are aware that reaching out to a friend and reaching out to someone we like, are very different? Even without official status, or the so-called commitments, who can be certain that they could overcome their passions/feelings? We saw in our midst who would consciously choose go with their feelings even when they are not under the influence of those, so is romantic evangelism really safe? Anyway, in the midst of all the struggles to not commit, one may even begin to doubt "am I trying to win him/her for Christ, or for myself?"
I think faithful shining examples of how people continually battle and remind themselves that hey this is not what God has for them, shed powerful insights of how grace is the one that sustains. Otherwise, as much as we are concern Proverbs 4:23 and 2 Timothy 2:22 provide good enough advice that for me are the best. Never ever to apply one good thing out of context into another. Once again, romance is not an avenue for evangelism!
What I would do:
If it ever happens, stop yourself, restrain yourself. Literally, flee (2 Timothy 2:22). Subjecting yourself to something which we have an appetite for has two possibilities: sensitization or habituation. If it's the latter, then perhaps it's good, so that we can concentrate on our "evangelism efforts". But more often than not, for something that we need to restrain ourselves from, we are sensitized, and we want it more. And yes, you guessed it, we probably would compromise in the end, and justify ourselves with a whole bunch of out-of-context things.
Flee is the best option, to protect ourselves, and if we truly love them (with Christ's love), to protect them as well. I was a victim myself, and once again it was God's grace that I am where I am today. I could have turned my back to the faith because it was really sucky. That kinda hurt! If things don't work out in the end (even if we never commit), are we going to turn cold towards him/her and move on to "evangelize" others. That in itself is another form of commitment already by the way.
Therefore to end it off, lest you are 100% sure that your heart is guarded (which by the way should probably also mean that you never would fall for a non-believer), I would never ever encourage risking romance and evangelism.
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