So Much More

The greatest hindrance to progression is an assumption that we already know it all. Kris Vallotton once used a very apt analogy of a lost coin- no one in the right frame of mind would continue to look for the lost coin if they have already found it- how true. Therefore, it is of utmost personal importance to make an intentional commitment to assume that I do not yet know, and even when I do, assume that there is more to it than what I already have. If the aforementioned assumption is the biggest hindrance, the next on the list has to be the assumption that the current state is acceptable. Being comfortable where we are proves to be the biggest inertia for us to move forward- going beyond the Christian circle and we know the same has to be said in all walks of life - A complacent football professional may never reach his full potential if he stops working hard; a student would not perform as well as he would have if he stops at where he began. We continually build upon what we have.

Likewise, the same is true of our walk with God, our knowledge of His Word, and our perception of who God is. While the Kingdom is meant for the little children and we ought to trust with childlike faith, and while we are all children of God in broad strokes, perhaps it helps if we take some minor steps to slow down, assess, and reflect, what does it mean when the Bible made explicit mentions in the books of Isaiah, Job and Psalm about no one being capable of fathoming the understanding, greatness, mysteries and depth of God. Even those, pardon me, I think are only minor revealed aspects of God, with much more yet to be discovered.

Imagine with me the Cherubim in Revelation 4:8 and Isaiah 6:3 exclaiming “Holy, Holy, Holy” as they flew around in the presence of God for not just a day, a week, or even a year, but forever. I have to admit that this remains one of the most peculiar images that I have much difficulties grappling with, perhaps because I have never and would never encounter any object, which amazes me beyond duration of a few hours. None can fathom, indeed. Yet, one of the most common, and probably one of the most stifling approaches to address such unease in the Christian community comes in the form of smoothening out the peculiar portion of the message. Sometimes we classify them as analogies, other times we merely do away with the notion of “not literal”, yet more frequent, we give selective emphasis and leave out specific aspects of His Word. Once again, the moment we think we know, we stop exploring deeper. By having the wrong conclusion puts us into a false state of comfort, and a pseudo state of rightness. Sometimes we move on to other areas, other times we are pretty happy to stay where we are.

Over time, we get an end state of the birth of many warped theologies. That is why Matthew 7 teaches us about the importance of a sure and solid foundation. The only way to stand firm is to establish our house on solid bedrocks, but can I also suggest that this is not a dichotomy? Bedrock is supposed to be one solid piece. While sand erodes with heavy rain, how many of us are actually aware that a mixture of fine rocks and sand is the worst kind of foundation one can have simply because when the erosion takes place, the bigger pieces are left to strike against the pillars and then damaging them.

Christianity is not finding a balance such that we get the best of both worlds. In fact right through the whole collection of books, countless times has it been made clear to us that the path is narrow and few would enter. It is easy only because all we have to do is to rely on the grace given to us- that is the only way anyways. Yet it is not simple, henceforth the existence of theologies, debates, denominations etc., because…

Matthew 6:33

Matthew 6:33

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."

See, this is a well-memorized verse, well-spoken, well-quoted, well-used, but when it comes to real application, how many of us can truly thump our chest and declare with confidence, that I've sought first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and as a result I have received the promises that have been added unto me. Who, in all honesty and the depth of his heart, can really really confidently say that?

Not me...

The oneness of goal should give us breather, space and room to lead wholesome life. After all, He did mention that His yoke is light. Yet, many struggle under the heavy burden of various sources- expectations to uphold the spirit of excellence, undertaking of responsibilities bigger than what we have been intended for, over-driving good works in the name of doing our best, unwillingness to surrender, failure to keep God in the midst of our plans. Many are the plans in the hearts of men, but it is His purpose that ultimately prevails. 
Kingdom of God denotes submission to His Lordship, His righteousness denotes acknowledging His standard. This is a way of life, an attitude; not a complicated, unattainable state of ideal. That is why the entailing verse speaks of our response: "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has it own worries."
We relinquish control, we find our reliance upon Him and Him alone- then we learn to trust, and then we grow in our intimacy with Him. 

23 October 2014:
100 Push-ups

24 October 2014:
3km rope run
5.7km jog

#helpmetohelpothers

Help Me to Help Others

Help Me to Help Others

Today kickstarts my weight loss program. 

I have been very vexed up for the past few weeks. How do you raise awareness, and even raise support for someone so invisible? Right now, I'm volunteering at Radion International, which in essence reaches out to a minority hilltribe- the Hmong people- in Khek Noi Phetchabun, Thailand. 

Needless to elaborate, few of my countrymen would have heard about this ethnic group, much less is aware of their needs, their situation, and their life struggles. 

Being rather heavily reliant on support from Singapore, that posted a huge challenge for me to surmount. How to make the Hmong people relevant? Once in a while, we could perhaps bring back a few rescue stories of the utmost intensity to spur a spike of interest or curiosity, and stir up emotional burdens, and "guilt-trip" people into wanting to do something for them- but frankly, that is not quite sustainable. 2 months down the road, people forget, and Hmong people quickly fades away into the distant memory. The same could even be said of some of who have gone on a personal trip up the mountains- returning to Singapore was a return to "reality".

So while I was exercising this morning, I suddenly had an eureka moment. If I can't draw direct relevance, surely I can do something about an indirect one. Hence, came forth this initiative: Help Me to Help Others. 

I embark on a weight loss program today, having recognized my own health problem. I'm slightly overweight at 76kg, and since 2 years back had been alarmed about my blood pressure being on the slight high side. Yet, I've been struggling to find the consistency to sustain a healthy lifestyle. So I couple the weight loss program with the fundraising, as a form of motivation and a greater cause to fight for. 

For every 1 kg shed, a committed donor will donate a dollar to the cause. That would add up to a maximum of 6SGD at the end of the year. What one loses is perhaps a cup of starbucks coffee, or a movie ticket; but what one gains is this: a healthier and perhaps more handsome friend, and of course a contribution to the much bigger cause in the form of an accommodation for the kids in the mountain. 
This way, I am a beneficiary myself, and people who care for me can take heart because if I manage to live that extra few years, it is because of your support. Also, the benefits would be mutual, because Radion becomes my motivation to do good for myself. Even if Hmong remains invisible, I become visible, and I become the representation and reminder of the Hmong people to my countrymen. 

Of course, I have many other possible pledging opportunities such as 1SGD for every 1km ran, 1 SGD for every 100 push-ups done, 1 SGD for every 500m swim etc. And of course, if anyone subscribes to the cause, he/she is also feel free to contact me at judan.koh@radion-international.org to pledge an one-off donation of sorts. 

Bring back to healthy me!

I will be providing a weekly report on my weight loss program.

Stay tune :)

22 October exercise program:

2km run

100 floors climb

150 push-ups

Missions Apart from Money

The Provider God

Until now, I have been involved in mission works of one kind or the other for almost 6 years. While it is where I feel most alive, one niggling aspect continues to perturb me. We do not have a step-by-step guide to doing missions, but there is an existing understanding of that concept, and how it is generally done. So it makes me wonder, if it is possible to do missions without money. 

Today money seems to be the driving force behind any kind of tangible movement on the fields. A fundraising for a building, a sponsorship for a kid, a donation drive for community development, and the list stretches on. Money is a tool, and God can certainly utilize such useful tools to further His wonderful works, but as of now, what is the propensity of the ministries growing apart from money. 

There is an unspoken need for tangible security perpetuating the missions scene- young men are repeatedly told to save up and be prudent in preparation for future missions. Here, take a breather and remember- where does accumulation of wealth stand? When the rich young ruler wanted to follow Jesus, the explicit command given was to give away everything. How does everything relate to saving up for the future? I say, there is no way for such to reconcile. Pastor Francis Chan preached a message about this when he was condemned for giving away the entire royalties he received from his best-selling Crazy Love. People labelled him a spendthrift, a squanderer, who was not wise in stewarding God's gifts to him. The nicer people came along and told him about saving up for emergency, to which he responded brilliantly: where we are now, in the far east, girls and children are trafficked in astonishing quantity every day, people are dying from reasons known and unknown. How does that emergency compare?

See, out of an insecurity births forth much more insecurity. Let us revisit the bible, when Peter said "silver and gold I have none, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Christ, stand up and walk." Ministry needs not be built upon financial foundation, and it should not be anyways. The only time when Jesus used money was when He got His disciples to buy the donkey for the triumphant entry. 

I say it is about time that we return to basics. Let the Provider be the provider. It is prayers where we build the Kingdom of God, because prayer is the only way to be linked to the source. Oh God, teach us Your ways. When all point toward money as the only possibility, won't You just take over and show us how. 

God of Judah (5)

The Point of Amazement

What does real faith look like? The forgetful people has a natural gift to forget- no matter how memorable or unforgettable an experience is- over time, when the pages turn yellow, when the clangs and the bangs fade away, when memories blur out, we begin the forgetting process. Read about my previous post on the ministry of remembrance here.

Real faith looks like a desire birthed out of a divine touch. For the nth time today, some speaker came up to me to tell me that they saw something in me, that God was going to use me mightily and greatly in some unknown areas. Those were nice words, lofty words in fact, and I must admit the first time I heard those, I felt like wow... really? God is gonna use me. I felt privileged, and maybe prideful, but I never really knew in what ways. 2 years back when we had a leaders' meeting, we were talking about the different callings in different people's lives, and many questions arose- one particular one went like this: why do some have great callings, while others don't, or at least perceivably seem to have less? Really? Really. 

And we began the very human way of rationalizing things, and even try to humanly justify that regardless of the size of calling, God loves everyone just the same. True, but then why, still? 

It baffled many, and it baffled me. One suggestion that got thrown in was that because I am ambitious- I had that desire. That answer didn't quite work for me, but the discussion ended there. For the next two years, we continued to flit around the topic of calling, and comments like the one above continued to come in. No one really knew why, but most of us got on with life rather comfortably without knowing why, anyway. 

Then today, amazing things happened. I had a first-hand encounter with an amazing testimony to God's redemptive works, and then I had a first-hand experience with an actual God's redemptive works. Upon reflection, I understood. The "ambitious" theory made sense, finally. It was not wrong- in fact, it has a huge degree of truth in it. I have a huge call because God knew that I am an hungry person, and I have an ambition- for Him. 

Let me explain. It started off with a question: why is it that when we hear conversion stories, somehow it always feels like Jesus likes to reveal Himself to a specific group of people? The answer: pardon me, but I really do think it is because this particular group of people have a genuine hunger for God. There. Desire. 

In the bible, it is explicitly spelt out that those who seek their life will lose it, but those who lose their lives will find it. I think this is it. It takes an attitude of abandonment. To quote the speaker's words, it takes a deep sense of awe and reverence, to come to a point of submission. That desire that has been born out of a divine touch by God, that it convinces one to give up willingly (read my previous post about sacrifices here) every other thing that might potentially obstruct this pursuit of His plan. It takes no special favor, and it takes not special gifting. It only takes a heart of full abandonment, a willingness to give up much to gain more. Jim Elliot was like that, Peter was like that, Paul was like that. For some time, people were talking about the 3 favored disciples of Jesus and about God being a God who favors specific individual, but then that is not a complete assessment. I think God knew from before time how much one is indeed willing to give up at the end of the day, such that He planned the path (calling included) with that knowledge, which is bound to come to fulfillment.

As such, we should start taking a responsibility. For a long time, people are so eager to find out their call, and some began to react to every candela of light shed into this uncertain future. People turn to prophecies and words of knowledge, and constantly seek for revelations, without really seeking within. People lose their personal responsibility in trying to figure out God's plans for them. Good Christians continually try to find out a path to take, and move in the general safe un-contradicting taken route, in hope of one day fulfilling the prophecies of old. Self-fulfilling prophecies come on scene, and when life gets tough, we began to blame God for breaking His promises. It is funny how we on one hand say that God loves us and gives us free will, and on the other hand actively seek out a manual or a step-by-step guide to live according to "God's plan". Free will means responsibility, free will means to choose, based on our relationship with and knowledge of God. 

When we learn to take that responsibility, and as we choose, we make ourselves available for God's usage. God chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and here we have it. Seeming dumbness of giving up much, seeming dumbness of rashness, seeming dumbness of going against the majority- those are the trademarks of people with huge callings. Because we are dumb to the world, then we are great in the Kingdom. 

Do you see- the whole bible talks about the first shall be the last, and the last the first, and dying to self, and all those- not so that we suffer, but that we busk in His glory. Jim Elliot famously said this: He is no fool to give up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. This summarizes it all. Want a huge calling, then be ready for it. 

The God of Judah (4)

Remember

Galatians 3:4 "Did you suffer so many things in vain- if indeed it was in vain."

Some say the basis of faith is experience, some say it is the knowledge of the Word, yet some say it is the relationship with Jesus. But I say there is a position of remembrance. Remember not because we want to busk in past glories and lick our past wounds; remember only because there is value in doing so. Selah, why did Jesus command and subsequently so many churches go to the elaborate extent of creating a ritual "do this as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me". 

In the desert, the Israelites needed to remember; in his destitute, David needed to remember; prior to his execution, John the Baptist needed to remember. Remember comes from a point of deep processing- remembrance is experiences processed, knowledge internalized, convictions formed. When we remember, God reminds us to use whatever experiences we have had before as a basis to learn how to expect, what to expect, how to trust, and how to hang on. Above all, it gives us a clear view of how we have come through each episode- that is God who carried us through. I like Galatians 3:4 which asks a rhetorical question: "have you suffered so much in vain?" Essentially, it is saying this- hey, do not lose sight of your purpose! Remember why you begin, remember why you did what you do, remember your reasons, remember you convictions. Things may not seem as you might have expected them to be, but most of all, remember- I am Your God, I am promise-fulfilling, My love will never fail. Strength should arise; hope should arise.

The ministry of remembrance has received so little attention and emphasis that nowadays it has been reduced to the form of birthday celebrations and anniversaries. Nothing wrong with that, except that we lose sight of the pain and the sweat, the tears and the blood, the euphoric victories, the significance, and perhaps the spiritual significance. Strength doesn't arise, hope doesn't arise; all we have is a few hours of sing song, feel good, and maybe some blessings. People nowadays grow adverse toward the concept of sufferings as questions about why would a good God allow suffering grow in volume, so much so that we forget (fail to remember) about the victorious march through the battlefields. 

As such, conferences continually create momentary spiritual peaks, revivals don't last beyond a generation, mission trips saw people fleeting through like butterflies. Yes, there is room for explorative trips, but if we say we are committed to missions, we are dealing with lives; and we don't drop lives and pick up lives as and when we feel like it or as and when we are convenient to do so. Parenthood is not like that, and that is definitely not how we deal with God's children. 

Yet, people forget. In a society obsessed with efficiency and immediacy, we have to get on with lives very quickly. Missions that have very low visibility suffers the most because these quickly become irrelevant, and very quickly we lose connections. Once in a while, we remember our friend from afar, but in truth it feels like puppy love. We were once connected, but now we are really quite separated. Many grew cold about this because we could not sustain- the forging and ripping apart of relationships hurt a lot- and some became fearful of returning onto the fields. On the other extreme arms, superficial relationships are forged. Experienced mission-goers (NOT missionaries) give advice with good intentions, warning the team against forging deep relationships/friendships with the people. "You make them hurt, the separation won't be easy, you create a reliance…" But truly, how is a relationship ever genuinely forged if we put up barriers? That, is a clear sign of misalignment when the task of preaching the gospel overshadows the heart of loving the one. 

In Asia, it is extremely easy to forget. Competitions come alive, and every thing is practically vying for our attention. How much capacity do we really have to REMEMBER? Many trippers come to the conclusion that this is the point of returning to reality- to the everyday Singaporean life, the system that has served us so well. How sad… That our reality is as such, and we willingly but reluctantly made it so. The oxymoron is intentional because that is precisely the kind of attitude many of my generation embrace- we don't like it, but we do nothing about it. 

Controversially, I remain skeptical about how many came along to use God as a reason (excuse). It's a different season in life, God has called me else where, I sense God telling me no… While I do not want to downplay the works of the Holy Spirit in our midst, I am generally disappointed with how so many of us are so ready to come into that kind of conclusion, when more often than not such remarks were based on life situation: school has become busy, I got no time for missions; it's my final year, I can't commit; my parents are objecting, so God is closing that door for me; I have a holiday planned and it clashed so it's out. I re-emphasize- that conclusion IS legit, but that kind of readiness is not. If we say we have been touched, if we say we have been transformed, if we say we have encountered God, it baffles me badly when we could give up that supposedly very precious portion of our journey with Him. 

Really, the reason is only because we have forgotten (failed to remember). 

The God of Judah (3)

Don't Care

What does it mean to become a Christian? It takes a great deal of depth and an even greater deal of abandonment to attain that attitude of don't-care-ness. All is well, we have a lot of capacity, room and even liking for words like that because it creates momentary sense of righteousness and nobility. I don't care about what other people think, I don't care about my own needs, I don't care about my future, I don't care about my inconvenience, I don't care... ... Basically what I am trying to say is this- I am serving the Lord, don't obstruct me. Stop telling me the contrary; get thee behind me satan!
I am like that. Yet, in the bible twice, David mentioned about not wanting to give to God that which cost him nothing. If the attitude is one that did not care, how would it cost him anything? Recall yourself walking past those flag day people, how often have you dropped a coin or two into the box without ever really having the real genuine intention of helping out? Often. This is what I mean. 
In our Christian walk, all too often, we have done things to make ourselves feel better and look better- I've done my part as a Christian. The bible says both faith and deeds are important. Well, I have faith, and deeds wise... I have done those as well. 
This is about becoming a good enough Christian, and becoming great follower of Christ. See, I forbid myself to use the word Christian in the latter because that term has been so sensationized that it almost has nothing to do with following Christ anymore. Right now, it is more synonymous with homophobic, intolerance, hypocrites, self-righteous, pushy people, schemer, doomsday preacher, ugly double-standards than anything else- NONE of which was a characteristic exhibited by Christ when He walked the earth. 
We lose much when we try to hit the minimum, because then, we think we are doing God some favor of sort. Someone used the analogy of iPhone to illustrate this. The evangelism tactic today looks like this: a new iPhone has been released and it is for me to sell it to you. First I try to convince you that it is good. Then I try to convince you the price is good. Then when you refuse to budge, I lower the price. Still you refuse to relent, so I give it to you for free. Yet, in the scripture, Psalm 19 explicitly spells out the desirability of the things of God. Yes, salvation is by grace, and yes because of that salvation is freely given. But it is of ultimate insult to look upon salvation the same way we view the giveaways in the mall. That way, we cheapen the saving grace. By right, people should be queueing up and anticipating eagerly for this thing that is so good. This goodness... our lives would have to show. 
Not caring is not the way to go. In the Greek mythology, there is this story about the Siren's song. Siren is a part bird, part woman creature who resided amongst the rocks on the coast, and she would sing a song which entices the Greek soldiers to sail toward her when they set off for excursion. Before they knew it, the ship probably would have ran aground or collided with the rocks. Distractions in life are real, and not caring does not remove them. At best it's an ostrich's way of coping- I don't see it, so it's not there. We never realize when we veer off track, and we never realize how far we would have gone, and worst of all, we would not even realize the kind of danger we have gotten ourselves into. Destruction is at hand. 
Interpret David's resolution about not giving God something which cost him nothing, this is exactly it. It is about discovering something more valuable, to an extent that we begin to acknowledge- money is important, security is crucial, family, friends are all precious, but God ranks above them all. Those who does not hate his father and mother cannot be my disciple. It is not about sacrificing; it is about gaining something better. Abraham knew this when he chose to sacrifice Isaac who was the fulfillment of a 30-years old promise from God. Isaac meant the world, but God was the universe to Abraham.
Why do we harp on this so much? Isn't it better that we do not care- God's works would be able to proceed without hindrance and go on full steam.But then we would die, the ministry would die, the works would die, and the people would die. A ministry that is built apart from the lives are not connected to the source of life- ie. it will not live. It is based on feeling good, based on achievement, built on emptiness, and relied on human strength. However, a sense of abandonment despite caring would yield abundant fruits. Because it looks beyond what happens around us, it looks beyond what happens to us, but it looks at what happens within us- we are touched by God and we are transformed. Only then would an act of sacrifice make sense, and only then is an act of sacrifice possible.