God of Judah (5)

The Point of Amazement

What does real faith look like? The forgetful people has a natural gift to forget- no matter how memorable or unforgettable an experience is- over time, when the pages turn yellow, when the clangs and the bangs fade away, when memories blur out, we begin the forgetting process. Read about my previous post on the ministry of remembrance here.

Real faith looks like a desire birthed out of a divine touch. For the nth time today, some speaker came up to me to tell me that they saw something in me, that God was going to use me mightily and greatly in some unknown areas. Those were nice words, lofty words in fact, and I must admit the first time I heard those, I felt like wow... really? God is gonna use me. I felt privileged, and maybe prideful, but I never really knew in what ways. 2 years back when we had a leaders' meeting, we were talking about the different callings in different people's lives, and many questions arose- one particular one went like this: why do some have great callings, while others don't, or at least perceivably seem to have less? Really? Really. 

And we began the very human way of rationalizing things, and even try to humanly justify that regardless of the size of calling, God loves everyone just the same. True, but then why, still? 

It baffled many, and it baffled me. One suggestion that got thrown in was that because I am ambitious- I had that desire. That answer didn't quite work for me, but the discussion ended there. For the next two years, we continued to flit around the topic of calling, and comments like the one above continued to come in. No one really knew why, but most of us got on with life rather comfortably without knowing why, anyway. 

Then today, amazing things happened. I had a first-hand encounter with an amazing testimony to God's redemptive works, and then I had a first-hand experience with an actual God's redemptive works. Upon reflection, I understood. The "ambitious" theory made sense, finally. It was not wrong- in fact, it has a huge degree of truth in it. I have a huge call because God knew that I am an hungry person, and I have an ambition- for Him. 

Let me explain. It started off with a question: why is it that when we hear conversion stories, somehow it always feels like Jesus likes to reveal Himself to a specific group of people? The answer: pardon me, but I really do think it is because this particular group of people have a genuine hunger for God. There. Desire. 

In the bible, it is explicitly spelt out that those who seek their life will lose it, but those who lose their lives will find it. I think this is it. It takes an attitude of abandonment. To quote the speaker's words, it takes a deep sense of awe and reverence, to come to a point of submission. That desire that has been born out of a divine touch by God, that it convinces one to give up willingly (read my previous post about sacrifices here) every other thing that might potentially obstruct this pursuit of His plan. It takes no special favor, and it takes not special gifting. It only takes a heart of full abandonment, a willingness to give up much to gain more. Jim Elliot was like that, Peter was like that, Paul was like that. For some time, people were talking about the 3 favored disciples of Jesus and about God being a God who favors specific individual, but then that is not a complete assessment. I think God knew from before time how much one is indeed willing to give up at the end of the day, such that He planned the path (calling included) with that knowledge, which is bound to come to fulfillment.

As such, we should start taking a responsibility. For a long time, people are so eager to find out their call, and some began to react to every candela of light shed into this uncertain future. People turn to prophecies and words of knowledge, and constantly seek for revelations, without really seeking within. People lose their personal responsibility in trying to figure out God's plans for them. Good Christians continually try to find out a path to take, and move in the general safe un-contradicting taken route, in hope of one day fulfilling the prophecies of old. Self-fulfilling prophecies come on scene, and when life gets tough, we began to blame God for breaking His promises. It is funny how we on one hand say that God loves us and gives us free will, and on the other hand actively seek out a manual or a step-by-step guide to live according to "God's plan". Free will means responsibility, free will means to choose, based on our relationship with and knowledge of God. 

When we learn to take that responsibility, and as we choose, we make ourselves available for God's usage. God chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and here we have it. Seeming dumbness of giving up much, seeming dumbness of rashness, seeming dumbness of going against the majority- those are the trademarks of people with huge callings. Because we are dumb to the world, then we are great in the Kingdom. 

Do you see- the whole bible talks about the first shall be the last, and the last the first, and dying to self, and all those- not so that we suffer, but that we busk in His glory. Jim Elliot famously said this: He is no fool to give up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. This summarizes it all. Want a huge calling, then be ready for it.