Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Expect Big Things: 6 Points Why We Should Break Away from Living Small Lives

The saying rings loud in the ears of many today: "the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointments." This comes from a defeatist mentality: I've tried and failed so many times, and the feeling sucks. So maybe... If I don't expect as much, it'd hurt less. And if I expect little and I exceed my expectations, it'll be... Wonderful! Maybe I can even label myself as the overachiever!

This sounded so familiar to myself and I just got reminded of my first ever good quote when I was 17. Anything could be used as excuses for us to give up, but they certainly don't form good enough reasons for us to not try hard. It's pretty self-explanatory...


Where then do we place over-expectations I came through a tough phase where I was constantly angry for a period of maybe 3 years. How many of us recognize that over-expectation is one of the main contributors of failed relationships. Recall: why can't you just? Or, if only... Sounds familiar? Over expectations are synonymous to discontentment.

So so so... Where do we strike the balance?! Like seriously where?

Thus far, it seems like having low expectations triumphs over the latter. We can feel wonderful, less disappointed etc. But can I also suggest, low expectations is like slow poison, gradually but surely, it seeps away your life, both literally and analogically.


1. Low expectations drive us to abandon our dreams. We convinced ourselves that those dreams are too lofty, and they are out of reach.

2. Low expectations give us a false sense of satisfaction, but truly it's only self-deception. Imagine going for a marathon, and we only expect to finish 2km, and we got all ecstatic as we crossed that mark... Everyone else around would have recognized that it's barely the beginning, and it only leaves the onlookers to wonder what could have been. It's one thing to live independent of others' opinions; it's the other to live in our own bubble world.

3. Low expectations drive us to seek quick fixes to any problem. Often, low expectations prevent us from seeing the root of the problem. We see a situation and we try our best to address the symptoms of the problems. After a while, the symptoms disappear, and then we pretend as if nothing happened. Have we ever had experiences where we thought something is settled, but one year, 2 years, or even 5 years later, we find déjà vu in the kind of situation we are handling? I empathize deeply with this: my case was one whereby I actively sought out relationships after relationships to "make up" for a void within? The figure is ridiculous- I had at least 10 flings and even that is a very conservative figure. When we don't recognize values in the issue and only view upon them as problems to be solved, we are under-expecting already. There is something that can be derived out of any situation, and if we catch that, the outcome would be tremendously different. Oh by the way, the way we deal with it will be drastically different as well.

4. Low expectations prevent us from reaching our potential. This is linked to point 2. Usually low expectations are birthed out from fear, most often than not in the guise of practicality. What I have next is going to hurt: how many of us want to travel the world, but stop short at working first, save enough money then chase that dream? The good news is we are indeed gonna save some good money. The bad one: that day when we have enough would never come, ie. that dream will never be achieved. This is very very sad!!!! I saw many successful businessmen who are not happy, but I haven't quite met any poor dream chaser who is sad. This false sense of need for security acts like thick chains of restraint, so much so that while we say we live in freedom, we constantly struggle to beat the clasp of the system. Because we dare not expect that the experience from the adventure will outweigh that need for security, that the time would work against our route of advancement, that uncertainty is bad and not worth the risk.

5. Low expectation is one of the biggest source of regret. It's always the what could have been that bites back at us in our old age. If I had been more bold and went after that girl, if I had taken up that offer to go overseas, if I had bothered to talk things out with him/her, if only... See whenever we have an uncertain situation, the default mode we've set ourselves into is to expect the worst. It's gonna waste time, waste money, hurt people, spoil friendships, etc. how about, it'll be fun, it'll be fine, it'll be awesome, our friendship will become stronger. Availability bias: don't think of a pink elephant and what are you thinking about now? I'm not advocating blind optimism, but hey I ever heard an awesome teaching which goes like that: if you live in marriage as if you are forever preventing a divorce, then you will never find that fullness in the marriage. By the way, Kris Vallotton said this, and I find it applicable across many things: we don't live life as if we are attempting to prevent failure. Or think with me, we are in a game of soccer, and say our opponent is the great and mighty Barcelona. If we plan our strategies forever working around preventing Barcelona from scoring, we will be playing like Everton, or stoke city or crystal palace. We throw all over 11 men behind the line, and football pundits and managers alike began criticizing us saying that we don't play the game as it should be played and it's "ugly". Above all, we don't really win much, and if we do, it's usually by a 1/1000000 chance. Now let us turn to the Bayern Munich of 2012/13 season, they had a strategy that is not built around Barcelona, but instead around the strength of the German teams- physical fitness and collective work rate- and the result: two of the world's biggest Spanish teams in Barcelona and Real Madrid got a thumping at home 0-4 and 0-5 for the first time in their glorious domination years.

6. Low expectations shortchange us. It's a little bit like investments in the stock market. The bigger returns usually involve a greater risk- so does that mean reckless risk taking? No? I don't want us to bankrupt in life. But take informed good risk. More often than not, low expectations are so justified in the society that they become good enough reasons to mask our lack of effort to even try. In other words, low expectation is only a nice excuse for our laziness. Recall: don't worry about my results, I don't really care. Not being bothered by bad results doesn't mean don't even try working hard at it. Remember the spirit of excellence! They look alike, but they are not the same. The first tries hard and leaves the rest to God; the latter indulge themselves in pleasure and then score badly and they say "o come what may, whatever God gives me I will accept." The latter has the form of a God-fearing man, but truly God is being made a scapegoat in our irresponsible and poor stewardship of God-given time.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Marks of (My Ideal) God's Missionaries (more applicable to 3rd world and 2nd world)


4-5 years back, after giving my life to Christ, my criteria for a future spouse shifted slightly, one of those being the addition of the condition that she must be a Christian. But it was only until maybe 2-3 years back that I really got convicted. Prior to that I struggled to deal with nice non-believing Christian friends. Then I realize that being a Christian alone is not enough, the mormons and jehovah witness call themselves that too. She must know God, but even that is insufficient. She must love God, love Him with self-abandonment.
That expectation grew with my personal growth, and gradually I realize that a normal Christian girl would not be able to live with (withstanding being a totally different thing, but if a married couple sustains the relationship by withstanding each other, it's a little sad) my kind of lifestyle/conviction about God's calling in my life. So at one point, quite recently, I became certain that my wife would be missions-minded, probably called to Indonesia, Thailand, Africa etc. Many many places~ 

So what does a mission-minded person look like, in accordance to my definition? The term "missionary" has a significant personal relevance for me because of my salvation story, so I do have some expectations for the so-called missions-minded people. In fact, I have met many who made that lofty self-proclamation, but I personally find extreme difficulties to even try to agree. I couldn't. 
(This post would cover my personal ideal for how a missionary and his ministry would look like. It may not be God's standard for His choice of workers, but it's my preference in selecting my favored co-laborers. I'm using my personal free will to express my personal preference and this is a fun post, so don't be offended if you find any of the points below personally relevant. Have fun reading =))

1. God's missionaries are characterized by a broken heart for the lost.
God's purpose for His missionaries is for us to become channels specific for pouring out His love unto His children, so the top quality must be love. This is an unsurprising inclusion, but the understanding of how love look like may differ, so I will elaborate and give my version of love-driven ministries. Some people even question if love alone is enough because of the abuse of love- you know like those self-gratification kind of love, the indulging kind of love, the warped kind of love- but despite that, I'm inclined to believe that love alone is indeed enough. 
My love-driven ministries place the focus on relationship-building. I understand that there are people who say that doing missions without preaching the gospel is not missions at all (it's at best community service), but Francesco also famously said this, "Preach the Gospel, and if necessary use words." I'm all for preaching the good news, but if preaching the good news become an end to itself, I'm usually very disappointed. I have this whole thing about differentiating clearly between means and purposes: (applied) we preach the Gospel because we are inspired by God's love and thus we love; we don't love in order to preach the Gospel. Loving is the purpose and the motivation, preaching the Gospel is an expression of that. Both will look alike physically, and it's really the heart that makes all the difference. On a few occasions, I was asked one of the bizarre question about mission team not preaching the Gospel- they only go there to help the people and leave. Can I suggest that the Gospel has already been preached in the genuineness of that love, of the good things that have been done, and of the relationships that have been built. 
God's missionaries look at the field and the first thing they have in mind is to integrate him/herself into the group of locals. We look at the people and see treasures and souls whom our hearts extend out to, and we are inspired by unexplained love for strangers, people whom we have not met, but we just love them. (Oh, and  by the way, I especially love foreigners!) Others look at the fields and see numbers (potential converts), opportunities (sick to be healed). I mean all these are great platforms through which God can demonstrate His prowess, but I don't like the idea of guinea-pig-ing fellow humans, not saying everyone is like that though. 
If we come out from the place being known for the guy who brings miracles, the guy who speaks good wisdom, or the guy who diligently helped out, all these are good; but I would be most glad if I come away being known as the guy who loved and bothered to make friends with us. (Matthew 7:22-23)
For me, the focus of missions is the people, the friendships, the relationships; not the task, nor the programs to meet. 

I never expect my first point to be that long, but this is something I feel very strongly about. I promise the remaining pointers to be much shorter. 

 2. God's missionaries are devoted to His works on the fields.
I remember my first mission trip- I was not having a good time because I was feeling anguish and angry how that mission trip was turning out. Many friends were sticking around in small groups, and for every 15 minutes out in the sun, 30 minutes would be spent in the office to enjoy the air-con or what not. The young and hot-headed boy that I was back then, I could not understand why these people even came for a mission trip. God's missionaries are dedicated to what they have been called to do, be it to provide help or to make friends. We readily step out of our comfort zone into the fields, while others came physically but left every other aspect back at home. Ever had experiences with missionaries complaining about bad lodging conditions? How about those who quickly shut away in the room on their phones/wifi the moment we arrive back at the hotel? And how about those who make demands as if because I am here to help, you should accede to all my requests as much as possible? I've met them all, and within my personal bubble-frame-of-mind, I don't consider these true missionaries. They are at best missionaries on paper, and the biggest takeaway is probably something like a credential to have a cool story to boast about when I'm back home. You know, the wow, you went for a mission trip? 
"Wherever you are, be all there!" Jim Elliot~

3. God's missionaries are bold and move in exorbitant faith.
If anything, the mission field is one of the most dynamic working environment around. The word is actually "unpredictable". Cross-cultural differences and barriers usually give us unexpected situations such as a surprisingly great number of turnout, or a lack of one material or the other. Trust me, even if they had promised before, with all good intentions, many of them really are just too nice to turn down any requests put up by us. They really tried to help us gather our shopping list items. 
God's missionaries have to be flexible enough to not be flustered, and readily have a few things up their sleeves to hold the fort. We are not particular about needing to sit down on chairs, or that the people should queue up etc. Instead, we are pretty much the kind who 天当被地当铺, 席地而坐 (treat the sky as our blanket and the ground our bed, find our seat on any space on the ground). 

4. God's missionaries are visionaries
This is linked to point 3. We have a goal and a vision of how that goal looks like, and we actively work toward bringing that into reality, and it begins with investing in the lives of the locals. Proverbs 29:18 "where there is no vision, people perish." It is easy to feel good about coming to a mission trip, after all psychology research has shown that people feel good when they engage in altruistic activities, but it is those who caught onto something that God has impressed upon their heart, it is those who caught onto the God-given vision of the place, these are the people who will stay on for a long time. It is okay to have fun and enjoy mission trips, but mission trips cannot only be about having fun. We participate in the joy of the locals, but we ought to share in their suffering as well. It just doesn't make sense to say that I am here to live amongst you, but then demand hot waters for showers when water is one of the most precious resources for the locals. 

5. God's missionaries actively seek to establish healthy transference.
While previously I mentioned about commitment, but we need to be clear that commitment is different from hogging. While it seems like we are there to help, the recipients of our help give us something in return- some sort of reliance, and I tell you, it feels good to be relied upon. In fact, it feels empowering. The missions model of Paul saw him actively raising leaders in the local churches such that they become self-sustaining. It's for both practical reasons and spiritual reasons. Locals understand the locals better, and once setting off a healthy cycle of leadership renewal, the long-term growth of the ministry would be secured. It also shifts away the attention from being directed to us to being directed at God. Lest we are going to migrate to our missions field for good, ministry transference is the way to go.

6. God's missionaries are survivors.
We are one of the most independent people around, emotionally, physically, health etc. It doesn't mean we are stronger than other people, but we just know how to take care of ourselves. We know that if we want to help other people, we can't afford to become a burden to other people by falling sick. So when it rains, we don't need other people to tell us to use an umbrella; when we are in a dangerous place, we don't need people to remind us to take care; when we feel hungry, we will find our own food; if we want to make friends, we take the initiatives; if we have an issue, we talk it out. All of which take into considerations language barriers and what not- somehow, we will just find our ways around, sign languages or what. Often, we find ourselves making friends with the driver, drink stall owner, the receptionist and whoever you come into contact with the most often. 
It starts at home: identify areas in your life where you can begin training. One easy gauge is this: attempt to live in such a way whereby if the person whom we rely on the most disappears, we'd still be able to get by without much problems, so that includes doing housework, waking up in the morning, washing clothes, paying fees, topping up EZ-link cards, preparing meals. The list goes on. 

7. God's missionaries are clear of their roles on the fields.
This doesn't mean we are smarter, or that we are more competent. It only means that we spend a much greater deal of time thinking about how we can contribute, and if we can't think of any, we bother to ask and find out and volunteer. God's missionaries should come into a place of maturity over time to negate the need to be taken care of. 

8. God's missionaries are serious about missions.
We make a great deal of preparations for the things we do, simply because we care and they are important enough for us to spend our time on. Those hours people spend on their school works, I spend them thinking about missions stuff such as my personal walk with God, how I can bless people and what not. Weeks before the trip, we began loading our heads with unfamiliar words that we recognize are going to be helpful (These are some of the Thai words I learnt before a mission trip 4 years back: hong nam yuu thii nai, may kao caay, Prajao raak khun). Basically, we prioritize everything about missions and guard those time well enough: such as learning magic tricks, learning guitar etc. 

9. God's missionaries have a good sense of authority and submission
For first time mission goers, we might have the urge/desire to want to experience as much of the missions' field as possible, and we might have a certain preference as to where we should be utilized, but if there's a leader in our midst, submit. This is not blind submission or spiritual submission which are invisible to the eyes, but this submission has practical values, especially in coordinated efforts. Failure to do so spoils the team dynamics, and could potentially make the whole effort not reach its full potential. If God had promised something before hand and it seems to go in contradiction to the assignment, do you think God would not be able to bring it to pass despite that? Even if I really do think that way, the more appropriate and mature method is definitely to inform the leader! I recently heard a sermon (I think it's by Kris Vallotton) which says something about if we open a door ourselves, we are responsible for keeping it open, but if God opens a door for you He will be responsible for keeping it open. Why make things difficult for ourselves, and for everyone else?

10. God's missionaries are humble. 
I love Heidi Baker and her ministry! Whatever other people say, she's one of the most humble person I've met. Her main message is something like getting lower. Humility is not there to prevent us from stealing God's glory from Him, humility is to protect us. In a place like the mission fields where we are kinda elevated to a position of respect and every locals kind of look up to you, it's important to remain humble in order to stay connected to God. It is important to recognize and constantly remind ourselves how privileged it is to be able to participate in His glorious works, and even if miracles happen through us, deep down would be an overwhelming sense of awe, almost as intense as the onlookers around, to say that it is my God!

11. God's missionaries have a huge desire to make a difference.
I am someone who would say something like "what can I do now". I believe God's missionaries are driven also by a passion to want to make a difference. We do not look at something impossible and say it's not now. Our preparation period is not wait, but our waiting process is active. We actively identify opportunities to do something, big or small, and we recognize the potential and the implications of what we've been doing so far. We are storing up treasures in the heaven!!
Finally, here's one of my favorite quotes from Mother Teresa, "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you." What is a daunting task? Making a difference starts with impacting a person.

Once again, the above is my personal convictions about missionaries, and I must confess that there are a lot of self-reference because I really do think that I am a missionary through-and-through. I don't think I fit all of them, but I do think point number 1 is a must! The heart inspires the remaining 10 factors, so the heart MUST be right!

Friday, March 21, 2014

Why I Choose to Not Take a Stance in the Midst of Controversies

This is my prayer for you:


One of my big desires is for people to embrace some sort of uncompromising openness that is not fixated on being right- I-am-right-so-they-must-be-wrong kind of attitude, but yet hold true to the unwavering Truth which forms the foundation of His teaching. Strip away that lens or any preconceived notion, and truly go and listen and find value, and understand the heart of the sharing. if Christianity gives hope, I'm thankful that KI has brought hope in the name of Christ to many across the nations. 


I have no idea where all these came from, but my first knowledge of its existence was when I first came to Christ. A videoed sermon by John Piper on prosperity gospel. I was so mesmerized and I loved it so much! It was very refreshing and the breath of truth which countered against what the world is propagating- in order to be successful, you must meet the following criteria in this world: rich, smart, high-flying etc. To some extent, I feel justified. So I was against prosperity gospel too, once.

Currently I thread along a dangerous line where it could be super controversial. How can you even subscribe to something that is outrightly wrong? I didn't- I never subscribe to prosperity gospel. I'm just... not against it. And that kinda formed my convictions and attitude about controversial issues like KI, Bethel and signs and wonders. Many things I do not yet know, and so I can only say that these are personal convictions for myself, and I dare not impose to say that they are for sure correct. I'm definitely unsure about it.

1. The notion of a complete gospel is irrational, and warped.
2. The accusations work both ways.
3. It's dangerous to think that we already know. 
4. We cannot replace a relationship with a theology.
5. Gauge by the fruits.
6. Misrepresentations.
7. There are some really good messages!

1. Here's why I'm not against them: and it has to be looked upon from a standpoint of why many people are. They only preach about prosperity, and they take out the sin aspects of the gospel, about how we need repentance, and about the wrath of God etc... In other words, they preach an incomplete gospel, and their version of gospel is known as the grace gospel. It's funny how many people embrace the concept of extravagant grace of God to highlight our unworthiness, but baulk at the preaching of a grace gospel. That's besides the points by the way. But isn't it true that no one gives you a 100% gospel, because simply no one is able to. If you feel the sudden urge to close the window because of how nonsensical this sounds, PLEASE, give this a chance- read on. For the faithful attendants of church services, why do we have to to listen to the sermon again if it's something that we've already heard before? How about the bible, why read it over and over again? The most common answer I get during my younger days is this: because each time a new revelation is given in context of where we are. ie. the interpretation changes all the time in accordance to what God is talking to each individual about at that point in time. So how is that even a complete gospel, when new things are constantly being added to it. For those who wants to jump at this and say that no new things should ever be added, try reading through: Isaiah 43:19, Revelations 2:17, Jeremiah 33:3 etc. 

2. I'm not saying, we can add anything that we want to hear. Far from it! 2 Timothy 4:2-5 reminds us to not twist the Word out of context in order to indulge our itching ears to hear what we want to. Remember the Pharisees? They were guilty of all these, and how unnecessary bureaucracies are imposed to make things difficult for people. Now that the Word has been made readily available, can I attempt to strike a balance too.
That interpretation can also mean this: our ears itch to hear that we are right, our ears itch to be justified, our ears itch to prevent changes. Recall those dramas where the oldies hang on to a familiar way of life, when a more convenient way of life has been made available? It makes me wonder, and it makes me ponder, how an itching ear look like? Could it be a case of pride and fear preventing us from receiving something better? I'm not saying that this must be true, but neither can I accept blindly that the former is right. 

3. And subsequently I begin to question, and the first time the big question emerged, it sounded something like this: You know Mahatma Ghandi said that he likes our Jesus but he didn't like us (the christians), and I believe that he said that during a time where extensive racism was prevalent throughout India. The whites were probably doing a lot of things that did not reflect Christ, but they probably did not realize until much later when they had the benefits of hindsight. Meaning to say that, the whites did non-Christ thing, thinking that they were doing a Godly thing. Proverbs 16:2, "a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD." The pharisees did exactly that, and Paul exemplified that, persecuting all the Christians and doing God a service. When we think we are right, and we think we know the answer, we stop digging deeper, and we get stuck at a certain level. The wisdom of Godly men and the formalizing of the numerous doctrines would most definitely not be expended in one's lifetime, so it would be foolish to say that we already master it all. But can I also suggest that to work in cycles, having to restart with every generation is the most blatant failure to build upon what has been established before- we hinder our own walks, and we delay the new things that God wants to pour out into this place. 

4. If there is one thing that we need to be darn sure about, it's not which is the right gospel to preach. It is who is this God whom we are following. We cannot replace a relationship with a theology. A genuine personal relationship with God allows us to discern in accordance to the knowledge of His nature, His character, His plan, and His intention for humanity, which is summarized by this one word- love. I've heard people like Joseph Prince, Joel Osteen etc. Did what they preach sound too good to be true? Yes, definitely! Then there's nothing wrong! Jesus coming to die for us already epitomizes the most undeserved gift to humanity, which by the way overshadow even the best of what a man can preach. Ephesians 3:20, it sounds too good to be true, BUT IT'S TRUE! I've heard very legit concerns like people coming to Christ for the blessings instead of God, so let us turn to the gospel... Ready? Why did the woman by the well come to Christ- so that she can have the living water. The sick, the poor, the wrecked; they came to Christ for healing, for blessing, for a touch. So what's my point- The love of God has to be realized, not preached, and I personally find it a very self-righteous thing to deny a desire to get something out of this relationship. That is self-denial at best, hypocritical at worst. So really, it doesn't bother me how these people come to Christ, as long as a relationship with God is initiated. I have faith that God will guide it and groom it, and before long the motivation will shift. I came to Christ wrecked, but now I love Christ with an insane passion. Oh by the way, I think it is also the responsibility of the people around to come alongside to support in this discovery journey. Wrong motivation is no valid scapegoat for our own laziness or reluctance to invest in other people's lives. Those who slipped through because they got put off by "you are sinful", "repent, or die", etc... I choose to former (it's a personal choice). 

5. It is almost impossible to know other people's genuine attitude, because people can mask their actions, lest you are one of those who say "I can read your mind". These people are... annoying to the max! But I would like to believe that most people are like me, and we really don't know! So how? John 15:8 and Matthew 7:17, we gauge a person's walk with God by the fruits he bear. Simple enough. 1 John 4:20, love has to be justified and prevalent in a person's life instead of plain verbal claims. It aways baffles me how come the most active churches in the community in terms of evangelism, healing ministries, and even sending mission teams always share some traits in common- they move in exorbitant faith, believing in even the resurrection of the dead (not 2000 years ago, but the here and now). I draw clear lines against holy huddle. If you want to say these people are crooks, show me your fruits. 

6. When I attended a church when I was 15 (I wasn't a Christian back then), I was freaked out by a public display of tongues- everyone suddenly rose up in unison engaging in a weird ritual of nonsensical chanting and blabbering. My next church visit wasn't until a year later. Even after coming to Christ, I was very bothered in the few conferences that I went to, when a small group of young people almost always go into a state of trance and uncontrolled laughters. It had some sort of semblance to cultish rituals, and I was waiting to see what the speaker would do about them. After all, those were bad disruptions... How about the sacredness of the Holy ground... Surely they would do something about it. Come on, say something... But each time, I was wrong. They ignored them and carried on with the message. I was baffled for months. Each time there was a conference, I constantly reminded myself, I shall not judge, I shall not judge, I shall not judge... Until one day, a message, not intended to address this particular concern that I have, spoke to me. We have a preconceived idea about how the manifestation of God's presence in our midst should look like, but actually there is no mold. Laughing, screaming, even running backward are not that different from tearing, clasping our hands, lying on the ground. It's a personal moment, with God. Remember David dancing naked in 2 Samuel 6:14, most stories are told like this, that David was dancing and because he was dancing so mightily, he felt warm and he took off his clothes. This gives it a more logical chronology, but the bible only mentioned about David dancing naked, as for why he was naked... You get where I'm coming from? Also, we cannot make our gauge based on false things- therefore having semblance to cultish practices doesn't mean that these too are cultish. Try this analogy, we see a stack of counterfeit note, and then we see the real one, and we say this looks like that so it must be fake also. How foolish?! The real note should be the point of reference, not the fake ones!

7. Finally, I still can't say for certain that I'm right, but these are my convictions. But even if they are not, I must acknowledge that they have some really good messages, which are biblically sound. Give them a proper listen! Don't go youtube and load those edited versions which deliberately cut out portions and take them out of context. Listen to them in its full complete version, I'm almost certain you will be blessed by it. 

About Sufferings

If my God is a loving God, where is all these love in the midst of the most terrible of happenings? The big question is an angry shoutout: why does a loving God allow terrible things to take place?
That juvenile who got abused by his stepfather since the age of 2; the teenage girls who got forced into prostitution; the hero who went into the 911 scene and got sacrificed in an attempt to save others; the entire flight of missing passengers; the beheaded victim in the Middle East; how about those infants caught in those accidents; an unexpected fall that change our lives; a newborn with an unlikely chance to live beyond 10 days; a stillborn; a lesbian/gay whom no one really tried to understand; a natural disaster- volcanic eruption, tsunami, earthquake, hurricane, storm. 
It weighed heavily upon my heart just compiling that list, and the bad news is... there are much much more. Remember the Indian girl who got gang raped last year? How about the lady who got rescued out of illegal captivity from her own dad? And the North Koreans...
For someone who claims to love God and boldly declares that his God is love, none of these make any sense. See, if God is love, and God is all able, and all things happen for the good of those who love Him, and all things happen in accordance to His plan, and nothing falls beyond His design for earth's destiny, that almost only bring us to one possible conclusion- I've fallen out of God's love. He doesn't love me enough, He doesn't care about me, and we form our conclusion that this is just an unfair game of life, and we are the bitter underdogs who have no hope of emerging from the mess. 
Sad. Very sad. Super sad... Indeed... 
For such a conclusion to be drawn, the basis of which must have come from the way we've gone about preaching our gospel. In my early days as a follower, I was repeatedly told to embrace my sufferings. God knows better, just embrace. These are all biblically sound, and people like to quote "count it all joy", but they leave out the benefits. It reminds me of the holocaust, imagine living day to day without any hope of ever leaving that hell. I ever read somewhere that many of those who survived had practiced a religion of some sort- the crux to dealing with suffering is hope.
When we talk about sufferings, even of the worst kinds, they have to be discussed in the context of hope. Or at least as far as my God is concerned, that is what sets us apart- having hope even when there seems to be none. A dead-end problem embitters its bearer, but a purpose and an available solution empowers him to push through to the end. 
So this kinda sets the stage for the discussion. Suffering must be understood in the context of hope! By the way, hope by itself is a well-discussed topic already, so the only thing I want to point out here is the connection. "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hope requires trusting out of a whole-hearted conviction that He knows better, such that the genuine "good" does not get masked by a perceived one. 
So why?
I cannot provide what the bible does not say, and I think it's a huge injustice to quote verses and say this must be the reason why you are suffering. Genuine consolation and comfort differ significantly from the typical "holier than thou" portrayal. Remember Job's friends? 
When bad things happen, we mourn and grieve, we give ourselves space for recovery. But dealing with a grieving person is uncomfortable, and we consciously attempt to pull them out. Ever had a terrible experience, and your friend came about and told you "it's alright" and you are screaming inside your head, "it's not!!!!" ? I think it is perhaps time to acknowledge that we don't know better, and instead of trying to pull from the front, try walking beside the person. It takes a deep sense of humility to say that hey, I'm just as clueless as you, but you know what, I'm here to stay with you and walk with you, to the end. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, when I am weak then I am strong. Let God be the answer. Our role here on earth, in the midst of fellow humans, is to love. Don't try to be the savior who has to solve every problem, but contribute in sure ways by showing love.
If any reader has been expecting some sort of an answer about why terrible things happen, I'm sorry to disappoint you. I probably won't give you what you want to hear. The underlying reason must be sins, and us. God cannot take the blame for what we have brought upon ourselves, He has already taken our place on the cross. Putting the blame upon God is akin to saying Jesus you deserve to die on that cross because You caused all these sufferings. 
NO WAY!!!! It's too much for my mind to comprehend: but basic understanding of statistics should reveal a small glimpse of how complicated the whole system is: imagine birthing a plan that has to take into considerations billions of individual free minds (different possibilities), and then the interaction of one mind with the other, and then the interaction between one situation with the next...  
Finally can I appeal for us to give this a thought. I don't know why, but I know God. Live in a way that blossoms our walk with God, and grow in our intimacy with Him. Be certain of His character, and be certain of His intention. When situation calls for us to choose, continue to trust. Our faith in God is no faith when it is only practice within our zone of comfort. Be sure that God never changes, look back and REMEMBER. For my beloved friends who have been wounded by hurts or by poor management of the hurts, allow me to grieve with you. I am praying for you that you will receive grace and love that extends beyond your deepest wounds. My Father loves you so much!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

9 Counterintuitive Things to Do

The gist of it all: be an overcomer! 

When you are sleepy, wake up earlier. Go for a good morning walk and you will feel much more awake after you entire body system wakes up.

When you are lethargic, go for a jog. The adrenalines rush will put you out of your discomfort.

When you don't feel like doing your work, do it anyways. Let the sense of satisfaction upon completion be your motivation. 

When you feel awkward, uncomfortable doing something, keep trying at it. The new set of skills from the adaptation will carry you a long way. 

When we have little, continue giving. It is better to give than to receive! It is when we have little, when the little means so much more, that joy can come at such a "low" price. 

When everyone is rushing off the bus, to board the train, or to queue for the latest release of an iPhone, don't join in. Take heart on being one of the few "special ones" who don't get suck into conventional flow. Oh, did I forget to mention also- contentment will probably make you feel more awesome than doing any of the aforementioned. Enjoy the simple things in life!

When we don't feel like praying, and when things are going real bad, continue praying and thanking God anyways. This is a very deep level of worship that perhaps only God and you would understand. The ordeal will pass, and you will be glad that you pressed on, through it all.

When there are things that we may not yet understand, don't generate our own conclusion/interpretation and call it facts. It is when we think we know the answer that we stop trying to dig deeper. Admit that we do not know, then perhaps we might have a greater degree of revelation than we would ever expect.

When we are angry, and feel accused, pent it up first. Experts (or someone else) ever mentioned that if we are able to get through the first 5 minutes of being angry without flaring up, the chances of us flaring up thereafter is significantly lowered. Take a deep breath, count to 100 in the head, and remind ourselves intentionally, there's really no need to be angry.


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

A Letter to My Future Self


To my future self.

Hey Judah, I think we can forget about the formalities ya. If you are still the same, I think I know you well enough. But then again, I can't be sure. You are too volatile, too unpredictable, too hard to guess... So in those ten years, I really have no idea how much you've changed.

3 or 4 day back, I wrote a letter to our 13 year old self, and that'd make him 20 years your junior. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now because for me, looking at the younger self makes me.... Wonder where all those years and months have gone to. Give that letter a read too, and remind yourself of your own salvation story :)!

You are older, probably wiser, and definitely more experienced, so I don't have much to inform you about. You probably already know them all. But one thing I want to ask, nevertheless... How has your walk with God been? I hope that made you think, regardless of whether you are thriving, give it a thought... It's only beneficial, that I'm certain... Very certain indeed.

It feels funny writing to an unknown. Writing with a hindsight makes me feel smarter than I truly am, and writing without foresight gives a totally opposite feel. Many of which are my assumptions, but even more are my convictions... About you, about our future, about God's plan for us. So instead of a daunting unknown, I'm excited for you!

I wonder how far you've moved into your call. Remember (that shall remain between us, you know what I'm talking about)?

10 years on, you'll be 33. One of my biggest questions would be if you are still in the navy? If you are... You'd probably be a Major by then, and close enough to take command of a small ship already? Wow!!! If not, you probably would have gone into full time, in some rural village doing some amazing adventures huh? That sounds awesome too!!!

My future sounds so fun wherever that might be and whatever God has called me to do. Oh, how's Marni and Nargesh? They should be in their teenage by now! I hope they have both grown into Godly youths after God's heart!!!

Apart from those, I reject any alternatives that are not better. I don't need us to enjoy and be comfortable, but I want us to be purposeful and fruitful. So I hope you are still the same where you are. Don't blame me for working in that direction. For the foreseeable future, I'm gonna be intentional to shut some doors and open up others, in accordance to that principle in life. Don't blame me, don't hate me. So if life is hard right now, press on... While I am still strong enough, and not yet sucked into disillusion, I declare protection and favor upon you (me). You will be fine!!! Remember this? I'm still telling all my friends that, so if you have already forgotten, I'm telling you (myself) that too! YOU'LL BE FINE!!!

Even if it doesn't turn out as declared, please continue to believe ya. :)

Another exciting thing that I've kept for the last, and probably the most burning question I have... How's Mrs Judah? I think you should have at least met her by now, woohoo!!! This is fun! And how about little Judahs? Haha, where I am right now, I think Mrs Judah must be as excited as I am... Send my regards to her ya. I don't pray for her all the time, but I do pray for her, and somewhere within I kinda knew that I love her already :D. Don't be jealous ah, because I am you!!!

Please be a good husband and a good father!! That's what I've aspired to be and that passage in Joshua, continue to live that out and lead our family in that ya (as for me and my household we will serve The Lord)!!! Send my regards to our kids too! Maybe I should write one letter to your future, the 43-year old me. That'd be so spooky in a good way! Imagine our 23 year old father writing to our 15 year old self!!! Haha!

Until I become you, I just want to encourage you!!! You are definitely a better person than me, a more loving, more Godly, less angry, less offensive, wiser friend, son, brother, minister, officer than I am currently. And those areas that i might be struggling with right now, by your time, they shall all be gone and better managed! I will spend the next ten years to ensure that, so if I ever become disillusioned by your time, don't be too harsh on yourself k! Just remember, and pick ourselves up! We will be fine!!!

Have a good life Judah!
Looking forward, very earnestly!!!

Judah Fabriano Cole!
(Your 23-year old self)

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Why I Stopped Paying to Go for Conferences


Today is Kingdom Invasion. Somewhere last year I came to some sort of resolution that I wouldn't be going for anymore conferences in the near future at least. 

One of the biggest things that struck me was Heidi Baker's message during one of the night sessions. It must be understood in context, but I can only remember this one portion that really stayed with me, so please don't jump to conclusion about her from whatever I'm gonna say. 

She was sharing about how she decided to set off to Mozambique (that was before Iris ministry was started), and at that point in time, everything resonated within me. 

She said she didn't like the christians in church back then. I forgot the exact words she said, but the gist of it is something like "I don't like those people in church, those who have been fattened by their comfort, their wealth etc." So for her, she chose to leave her comfort zone (if I ever leave my comfort zone, it probably wouldn't be that big a sacrifice): which included a very good education (she has PHD), promising future etc, and stepped into the unknown of Mozambique where she didn't have any foundations to begin with. So today Iris ministry is what it is, and we can only truly say that it's God's grace working in her life. 

My favorite of the whole sharing is this: they can stay in their church and roll around and laugh (and have manifestations after manifestations), but for her she rather go out amongst the poor. 

So that kinda summarized one of my big reasons for not wanting to go for another one since then. I got what I needed to hear, and I caught some kind of heart about this. Each has their choice, and each has a personal relevance or importance to head back to receive more. I probably would be receiving more if I head back, be it a reminder or encouragement, or even a revelation. But for me right now at least, I hold a conviction. I don't want to go back as an audience, and I don't want to head back to feel good. I rather use my 90 bucks to print 7 extra shirts to sell for my blessing project than to buy a ticket. Those impartations are fresh, and I also want to be where God's dwelling in, and these are all powerful anointed speakers who carry a huge call from God, but hey... God is with me and in me right now where I am too, and I tell you a secret: I'm receiving secret training from my Master in private. =)

However, once again each has his own choice, and no qualms with those who head back a second or a third time. God's goodness is to be enjoyed, and those who are keen to receive, He will freely pour out. Have fun in Kingdom Invasion 2014! I'm sure it will be an awesomely blessed time!

And of course, there are those who have been called specifically to go for a specific spiritual work that is to be done via that particular act of faith. I bless you all in Jesus's name, and may you all be empowered to bring and pull Heaven unto Earth. I'm sure it has been a powerful rocking in that realm! 

As for myself, my ministry is a relational ministry, not a massive explosion. So the next time I go for a conference again, heh.... I won't go there as an audience... The next time I go, it will be by invitation. As a minister or as a speaker even. Here I am, send me, Lord! =D

Meanwhile, let Your plan unfold in my life! Amen! 

Monday, March 17, 2014

A Letter to the Younger Me

Greetings Tiong Wei,
10 years from where you are, you'd have gotten a new name and in 5 years time all your new friends will address you by your new name. Your new name is Judah. It probably doesn't mean anything to you where you are right now, and you probably don't even know what it means. Oh by the way, did I forget to tell you also, 10 years on, you'd have become a Christian.


Don't ask me why or how, I came through where you are and I know even if I were to tell you my conversion story, you'd remain skeptical and treat it as nonsense. You are too smart, and you are too ambitious, and you think you are smarter than you really are, just because you outperformed most of your peers in PSLE. Busking in past glories would be your downfall.

I don't want to advise you as someone who is 10 years older. I know you won't like it, so even if I might be able to give you hindsight, I believe these are good opportunities or some sort of a rite of passage through which you'll be transformed, for the better of course. From where I am right now, I can almost tell you certainly that it's really for your own benefits.

But if you would allow me, I want to affirm you of the few things that you are doing them right right now. In fact, I am thankful for those efforts.

You know, how you are intentionally breaking away from introversion and how you are pushing your grasp of the English language, in the next 10 years you are gonna reap the benefits of your efforts and to tell you briefly how it'd look like, in two years time your essay will be topping the class, and you will be standing in front of the whole school to present speeches, and in a few more years people will start doubting that your primary language is mandarin because spoken English sounds so natural from your mouth, and then still a few more years, you will become more fluent than some of your current classmates whom you think are really good English speakers. You will fall in love with the limelight to the extent people literally stop believing that you are the introvert that you are right now. So well done! And thank you! And press on, the dividends are great! 
Even though I don't want to act as if I know better (I know you hate that, and I tell you 10 years on I still hate it), I think a few kind words for parting would be good.

Guard your heart. You won't understand this now but just keep it within you. It starts with the certain w-girl whom you like in your class now, and in the next few years, your life's gonna be rocked. Guard your heart, nevertheless.

Stay secured. Whatever you place your security in right now- good results, good looks, promising future, good portfolios and even good positions etc, these are all temporal and you can lose them. Stay secured and try identifying something bigger than yourself... You'd love it. I just know:D

Oh, and maybe you might want to start working on some things early: patience, anger management and self-righteousness. Trust me, it would do us both a whole lot of favor and cut out many unnecessary detours.

Finally, while you are still young, enjoy! Live life to the fullest! I know you will! :D

Love in abundance,
Judah, 
Your future self!

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations."

Sunday, March 16, 2014

5 Myths Our Culture Taught Us About Rain

It is atypical for a tropical nation to make a big hoo-ha out of a single occurrence of rain, except that this time round it is the first time in almost a month that we are welcoming back something which we have all taken granted for in a long time. Seeing the many exclamations and thanksgivings on Facebook prompted me to write this post. I'm a rain-fanatic, and I love the romantic feeling of being drenched in a rain. It gives me the thrill, the wondrous magical feel, the freedom, and the space to just be myself. But growing up, rain seemed to always have been portrayed as the bad guy that we should shun, and I think it's time to return some justice to the much maligned rain- it's only when we lose it (albeit only for a short one-month duration) then we realize how we have relied on it.

1. Rain is bad
I have no idea how childhood went for most, but for me rain-day meant home-day, which also meant no-fun-day. Many parents placed an unspoken house rule upon the children, and barred them from going out. Some even went as far as to intimidate the youngsters, rain causes you to fall sick, bad things happen in the rain, rain makes it dangerous to be outside etc.
However as we grow older, we learn to appreciate light drizzle a little bit more, and sometimes would even prefer a stroll in the cooling weather over trudging through under a scorching tropical sun. 

2. Rain is sad
We equate down moments in our lives to the rainy seasons, and we console those around us that the storm will pass and there is always a rainbow after a heavy downpour. While there is some truth in this saying because some things do indeed become tougher when it's done in the rain (such as moving house), why not learn to dance in the rain? It's all about perspective-taking that runs against the need to be fast and effective- recall the last musical you watched, what happened when there is a heavy downpour? Yes, they sing and dance!
By the way, breakups, accidents, and everything unfortunate don't just happen when it rains. Soap opera dramatizes that so badly to the extent there is almost a positive correlations between the two already. When they say heaven cries, why can't that be tears of joy? 

3. Rain causes us to fall sick
Another one of my personal dislikes. Growing up, the older ones always like to nag about how we would fall sick if we are caught in the rain. When I was much younger, I ever wondered why. Are there any flu viruses in the rain?Especially those moments when the sun and the rain co-existed, my parents always warned me against getting myself caught in a 太阳雨 (sun-rain) because that would get me a fever. As a result, sun-rain was a taboo in my childhood and I would wash my hand if I ever came into contact with one of those raindrops, I'm not kidding. 
This is another instance of blame-pushing: justifying our laziness to take care of ourselves (wiping ourselves dry, taking warm shower etc.) by putting a convenient blame label on rain. Being drenched in a rain is really not so different from not drying ourselves properly after taking a nice cold shower!

4. Rain spoils the best plans
What's the other name for contingency plans for most events? Wet-weather plans. Many of us go about our lives thinking that the rain is out to spoil all our plans which we have put in place- birthday party, outdoor wedding ceremony, soccer games, BBQ etc. Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. 
Now, after 1 month of  drought, is the rain out to spoil our days, or is it an aide to our daily living? Try incorporating rain into our plans, I think it'd be awesome!

5. Bad things happen when it rains (crime)
Good things happen in rain too! 


1 Kings 18:41
"Then Elijah said to Ahab, “Go up, eat and drink; for there is the sound of abundance of rain.” "