The Final Year

"Further research is needed to verify this."

Those were my exact last words of my academic pursuit, and at the insertion of that full stop comes the conclusion for this phase of my life. I have been looking forward because at some point, it had felt unbearable. Other times, I was just going through the motion; yet there were times where fun and laughters tranquilized any surge of anxiety. Those, were my uni years- full albeit short; fun albeit frustrating; meaningful albeit... sometimes this helpless sense of purposeless take over and I questioned about the applicability of what I was learning. Come on, I'm sure even the good students had those moments as well? Who would use algebra in the real world except perhaps mathematic teachers? 

Over the past 2 weeks when the reality of graduation slowly began to set in, the reality of departure also entailed. 3 years weren't that long, and precisely so, that's why many of the memories were still fresh in my mind. In fact, my memories of NUS stretch back to matriculation day. 

Loneliness marked my first year, with all my friends yet to enter university. I felt like a pioneer, and to some degree an obliging senior to share and teach the ropes. I thought one year, and the subsequent one would be better. Fellow easties would become my travel mate, but never quite. Ever felt the sense of abandonment- like at one point in time, you become irrelevant in a friendship and the paths just split, and the deepest things are not to be shared? Yea, that's when the distance began. 

But thanks be to God that He meant it when He said it is not good for man to be alone, and new friends came along. Some of these friends would become friends for a lifetime (not because of similarity, but because of the heart). 

How does word capture the full richness of emotions? It can't! Right now, I'm just glad I've come through moulding, pulled through battering, impacted on breaking, befriended with inspiring, and acquainted with divinity. Some friends are breezes who share in the joy and glory, but brothers and sisters come alongside to share in all circumstances, especially the low and the broken. 

Thank you Zoeleen who is always one of the first few to come alongside to simply just walk along. You are a very precious friend who always send a delightful smile no matter how low I've sunk. Love you much!

Thank you Bryam who is so humble and so welcoming. You are one of the few who allow me to be myself, and continue to love me for who I am. I really appreciate you a lot for being you. You are awesome!

Thank you Bernadine. I thank you that we met, that even though our friendship is not deep, but your heart of gold has just found so much favor in me. I want to appreciate you for being an inspiration. Above all, your constant desire to seek God first is a big reminder for myself to always do the same!

Thank you Rebecca for being a sister. I don't know why, but there are some people whom you are just really comfortable with, and despite the lack of depth in our friendship, I really like spending time with you. Thanks for being available, and thanks for... (I don't know what)... but just thank you!

Thank you Jason. There are many ways and many areas that our friendship could have become a lot a lot deeper. In some ways, I find many connection points with you, but in our interactions, I just can't seem to find that breakthrough with you. But nevertheless, thanks for being so fervent in your walk with God. You modeled so well someone who is faithful in his service toward God and His people, and that I'm always looking up to you.

Thank you Chloe. You are my little sister who found a special place in my heart, no reasons why. 

Thank you Ge Wei for being a friend. In my bible, there's a verse that says " A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." I think you are such a friend. I don't joke with you all, but somehow in you I find the assurance that you'd be available when I need help. Thank you!

In conclusion, I realize that the friends whom I cherish a lot a lot are friends whom I don't really talk to often. It's the heart- something within resonates and we become true friends. Even without the depth, they become so dear♥