Dwindling to Obscurity

In our search for life's greater purpose, many have seemed to diverge onto different paths, each to his own convictions. 

If that search had been as straightforward as a singular goal, things would have been a lot simpler, except that the journey to its attainment is also the one to its discovery. The greater purpose morphs over time. 

However, one probably would not go wrong by suggesting that the way to go is somewhat upward- whether be it leaving a lasting legacy, making a positive impact, bringing about a movement, changing the course of history, or transforming the lives of people. The general trend goes up, and that inevitably focuses our attention on the tangibles- how to get more influence, how to network, how to be more effective, how to publicise, how to rally, how to garner more resources. If you find this familiar, that is because it mirrors closely to how secular businesses are ran. Churches create marketing departments, while NGOs make publicity a major thrust of their efforts. 

So in our efforts to fulfil the great calls of our lives, we seem to have forfeited the fundamentals of what we have been shown- that it is the weak, small and oftentimes unspectacular through whom God likes to work with. It is unfortunate, but to say that it is far from what God has intended would be hugely inaccurate. God's great plan and grace have enough room for men to work our ways around, and all of us would have to concede organised and ESTABLISHED groups have impacted humanity in tremendous ways that they must have been blessed by God. Think Campus Crusade for Christ, The Salvation Army, World Vision, etc. 

Therefore, my sentiment does not aim to discount the credibility or the fruits bore by the efforts that precede me. Instead, I hope what I wrote would become an encouragement to the ones who are discouraged, struggling, confused and helpless. 

"So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honoured by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

Matthew 6:2-4

I caution against bitterness. "gimmicks", that is what I used to label anything that has a tinge of semblance to well, gimmicks. So an exaggerated piece of promotion video (to me) is a classic piece of gimmick, a large scale event graced by celebrities is another elaborated piece of gimmick. So while the intention might have been good or even Godly, somewhere deep within I harboured some sort of bitterness - toward a perceived failed promise, and a perceived sense of being under-appreciated. It was not easy. 

See, that's why Jesus placed so much emphasis on the denial of self, because it is so normal for us to expect something in return. In a culture deeply ingrained in our eastern root, this is especially so. But service unto God is selfless first. So in all our efforts to do more and more, bigger and bigger things, it helps to refocus, and it helps to take solace in His promise- that the things done in secret will be rewarded by our Father. 

I've embedded one of my favourite videos below, one that I feel perfectly encapsulates the kind of joy that is so untainted and untouched. It was about a super agent's encounter with a missed prodigy. Missed, because he never became a professional. The exchange climaxed when the agent asked him "do you know the kind of impact that would have come with your fame?" The missed prodigy replied, matter-of-factly, "you bet I do. In fact I think about it all the time, the kind of audience that I would have had, the magnitude of things that I could do with it." At this point, he turned and looked at his backyard, "but you know each time I look at these children," and he proceeded to name them one by one, and he continued, "they make the most important decision in their lives here. Being able to be a part of that and having the honour to witness that. Here, in this backyard, this is my Yankee stadium." 

Obscurity is no obscurity when my life is not lived for my own. Climbing to heights has its own danger of forgetting the initial purpose; working for heights create frustration; desiring heights contaminates the motivation. It is only when we, like what Jesus commanded, deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Him, can we truly experience the joy of fulfilling the greater purpose in life. See, if the greater purpose is bigger than me and my life, it has to be given by Someone who is bigger and greater than me. God gives, and repeatedly in the new testament, Jesus mentioned about this fullness of life in John 10:10, and Paul mentioned about a purpose that God's lovers have been called to. 

Our promise is in heaven. Woe to me who have garnered fame and wealth in this world, for my eyes are fixed upon the throne room, where my ultimate reward is found in Christ. So I pray that God help me fix my eyes upon the first love, the initial conviction, so that bitterness will not pose a hindrance nor a cause for jealousy to disrupt the work in Christ.