I don't think I deserve any of these. Tomorrow, I will be leaving already. My lord has made his decree. I'm thankful for his faith in me. For 30 years, we have fought shoulders to shoulders. He's been a marvelous leader, and God always made a way when there seemed to be none. This mission, this particular one looks daunting. I don't see how I would be able to return. But I didn't think I would be able to return in any of the previous expeditions, did I? I should be fine.
I wonder why he sent for my return. My brothers are fighting on the frontline, risking their lives for the nation. With each passing moments, I'm feeling the tug within my heart. I should be with them. Home seems too peaceful to me when war horns and horse hooves were ringing on the outside of the wall. My lord ordered for me to rest, to return to my wife, but how could I? I shall wait it out- even if I'm not there physically with my brothers, I will share in their sufferings, I will be with them in the spirit. When we return with victory, then all these enjoyments can come. That wouldn't be too late. That is exactly what I was going to do. But words came this morning. Suddenly he got me to the frontline. In fact, he got me to be in front of the frontline. Things haven't looked good there, but if he insists, then I would go. My king whom I serve, my king whom I chose to follow. 30 years of dedication, even if he were to ask me to draw my blood, I would. My allegiance is toward him...
2 Samuel 11:6-21
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