A Letter to My Future Self

To my future self.

Hey Judah, I think we can forget about the formalities ya. If you are still the same, I think I know you well enough. But then again, I can't be sure. You are too volatile, too unpredictable, too hard to guess... So in those ten years, I really have no idea how much you've changed.

3 or 4 day back, I wrote a letter to our 13 year old self, and that'd make him 20 years your junior. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now because for me, looking at the younger self makes me.... Wonder where all those years and months have gone to. Give that letter a read too, and remind yourself of your own salvation story :)!

You are older, probably wiser, and definitely more experienced, so I don't have much to inform you about. You probably already know them all. But one thing I want to ask, nevertheless... How has your walk with God been? I hope that made you think, regardless of whether you are thriving, give it a thought... It's only beneficial, that I'm certain... Very certain indeed.

It feels funny writing to an unknown. Writing with a hindsight makes me feel smarter than I truly am, and writing without foresight gives a totally opposite feel. Many of which are my assumptions, but even more are my convictions... About you, about our future, about God's plan for us. So instead of a daunting unknown, I'm excited for you!

I wonder how far you've moved into your call. Remember (that shall remain between us, you know what I'm talking about)?

10 years on, you'll be 33. One of my biggest questions would be if you are still in the navy? If you are... You'd probably be a Major by then, and close enough to take command of a small ship already? Wow!!! If not, you probably would have gone into full time, in some rural village doing some amazing adventures huh? That sounds awesome too!!!

My future sounds so fun wherever that might be and whatever God has called me to do. Oh, how's Marni and Nargesh? They should be in their teenage by now! I hope they have both grown into Godly youths after God's heart!!!

Apart from those, I reject any alternatives that are not better. I don't need us to enjoy and be comfortable, but I want us to be purposeful and fruitful. So I hope you are still the same where you are. Don't blame me for working in that direction. For the foreseeable future, I'm gonna be intentional to shut some doors and open up others, in accordance to that principle in life. Don't blame me, don't hate me. So if life is hard right now, press on... While I am still strong enough, and not yet sucked into disillusion, I declare protection and favor upon you (me). You will be fine!!! Remember this? I'm still telling all my friends that, so if you have already forgotten, I'm telling you (myself) that too! YOU'LL BE FINE!!!

Even if it doesn't turn out as declared, please continue to believe ya. :)

Another exciting thing that I've kept for the last, and probably the most burning question I have... How's Mrs Judah? I think you should have at least met her by now, woohoo!!! This is fun! And how about little Judahs? Haha, where I am right now, I think Mrs Judah must be as excited as I am... Send my regards to her ya. I don't pray for her all the time, but I do pray for her, and somewhere within I kinda knew that I love her already :D. Don't be jealous ah, because I am you!!!

Please be a good husband and a good father!! That's what I've aspired to be and that passage in Joshua, continue to live that out and lead our family in that ya (as for me and my household we will serve The Lord)!!! Send my regards to our kids too! Maybe I should write one letter to your future, the 43-year old me. That'd be so spooky in a good way! Imagine our 23 year old father writing to our 15 year old self!!! Haha!

Until I become you, I just want to encourage you!!! You are definitely a better person than me, a more loving, more Godly, less angry, less offensive, wiser friend, son, brother, minister, officer than I am currently. And those areas that i might be struggling with right now, by your time, they shall all be gone and better managed! I will spend the next ten years to ensure that, so if I ever become disillusioned by your time, don't be too harsh on yourself k! Just remember, and pick ourselves up! We will be fine!!!

Have a good life Judah!

Looking forward, very earnestly!!!

Judah Fabriano Cole!

(Your 23-year old self)

Why I Stopped Paying to Go for Conferences

Today is Kingdom Invasion. Somewhere last year I came to some sort of resolution that I wouldn't be going for anymore conferences in the near future at least. 

One of the biggest things that struck me was Heidi Baker's message during one of the night sessions. It must be understood in context, but I can only remember this one portion that really stayed with me, so please don't jump to conclusion about her from whatever I'm gonna say. 

She was sharing about how she decided to set off to Mozambique (that was before Iris ministry was started), and at that point in time, everything resonated within me. 

She said she didn't like the christians in church back then. I forgot the exact words she said, but the gist of it is something like "I don't like those people in church, those who have been fattened by their comfort, their wealth etc." So for her, she chose to leave her comfort zone (if I ever leave my comfort zone, it probably wouldn't be that big a sacrifice): which included a very good education (she has PHD), promising future etc, and stepped into the unknown of Mozambique where she didn't have any foundations to begin with. So today Iris ministry is what it is, and we can only truly say that it's God's grace working in her life. 

My favorite of the whole sharing is this: they can stay in their church and roll around and laugh (and have manifestations after manifestations), but for her she rather go out amongst the poor. 

So that kinda summarized one of my big reasons for not wanting to go for another one since then. I got what I needed to hear, and I caught some kind of heart about this. Each has their choice, and each has a personal relevance or importance to head back to receive more. I probably would be receiving more if I head back, be it a reminder or encouragement, or even a revelation. But for me right now at least, I hold a conviction. I don't want to go back as an audience, and I don't want to head back to feel good. I rather use my 90 bucks to print 7 extra shirts to sell for my blessing project than to buy a ticket. Those impartations are fresh, and I also want to be where God's dwelling in, and these are all powerful anointed speakers who carry a huge call from God, but hey... God is with me and in me right now where I am too, and I tell you a secret: I'm receiving secret training from my Master in private. =)

However, once again each has his own choice, and no qualms with those who head back a second or a third time. God's goodness is to be enjoyed, and those who are keen to receive, He will freely pour out. Have fun in Kingdom Invasion 2014! I'm sure it will be an awesomely blessed time!

And of course, there are those who have been called specifically to go for a specific spiritual work that is to be done via that particular act of faith. I bless you all in Jesus's name, and may you all be empowered to bring and pull Heaven unto Earth. I'm sure it has been a powerful rocking in that realm! 

As for myself, my ministry is a relational ministry, not a massive explosion. So the next time I go for a conference again, heh.... I won't go there as an audience... The next time I go, it will be by invitation. As a minister or as a speaker even. Here I am, send me, Lord! =D

Meanwhile, let Your plan unfold in my life! Amen! 

A Letter to the Younger Me

Greetings Tiong Wei,

10 years from where you are, you'd have gotten a new name and in 5 years time all your new friends will address you by your new name. Your new name is Judah. It probably doesn't mean anything to you where you are right now, and you probably don't even know what it means. Oh by the way, did I forget to tell you also, 10 years on, you'd have become a Christian.

Don't ask me why or how, I came through where you are and I know even if I were to tell you my conversion story, you'd remain skeptical and treat it as nonsense. You are too smart, and you are too ambitious, and you think you are smarter than you really are, just because you outperformed most of your peers in PSLE. Busking in past glories would be your downfall.

I don't want to advise you as someone who is 10 years older. I know you won't like it, so even if I might be able to give you hindsight, I believe these are good opportunities or some sort of a rite of passage through which you'll be transformed, for the better of course. From where I am right now, I can almost tell you certainly that it's really for your own benefits.

But if you would allow me, I want to affirm you of the few things that you are doing them right right now. In fact, I am thankful for those efforts.

You know, how you are intentionally breaking away from introversion and how you are pushing your grasp of the English language, in the next 10 years you are gonna reap the benefits of your efforts and to tell you briefly how it'd look like, in two years time your essay will be topping the class, and you will be standing in front of the whole school to present speeches, and in a few more years people will start doubting that your primary language is mandarin because spoken English sounds so natural from your mouth, and then still a few more years, you will become more fluent than some of your current classmates whom you think are really good English speakers. You will fall in love with the limelight to the extent people literally stop believing that you are the introvert that you are right now. So well done! And thank you! And press on, the dividends are great! 

Even though I don't want to act as if I know better (I know you hate that, and I tell you 10 years on I still hate it), I think a few kind words for parting would be good.

Guard your heart. You won't understand this now but just keep it within you. It starts with the certain w-girl whom you like in your class now, and in the next few years, your life's gonna be rocked. Guard your heart, nevertheless.

Stay secured. Whatever you place your security in right now- good results, good looks, promising future, good portfolios and even good positions etc, these are all temporal and you can lose them. Stay secured and try identifying something bigger than yourself... You'd love it. I just know:D

Oh, and maybe you might want to start working on some things early: patience, anger management and self-righteousness. Trust me, it would do us both a whole lot of favor and cut out many unnecessary detours.

Finally, while you are still young, enjoy! Live life to the fullest! I know you will! :D

Love in abundance,

Judah, 

Your future self!

Jeremiah 1:5

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations."

5 Myths Our Culture Taught Us About Rain

It is atypical for a tropical nation to make a big hoo-ha out of a single occurrence of rain, except that this time round it is the first time in almost a month that we are welcoming back something which we have all taken granted for in a long time. Seeing the many exclamations and thanksgivings on Facebook prompted me to write this post. I'm a rain-fanatic, and I love the romantic feeling of being drenched in a rain. It gives me the thrill, the wondrous magical feel, the freedom, and the space to just be myself. But growing up, rain seemed to always have been portrayed as the bad guy that we should shun, and I think it's time to return some justice to the much maligned rain- it's only when we lose it (albeit only for a short one-month duration) then we realize how we have relied on it.

1. Rain is bad

I have no idea how childhood went for most, but for me rain-day meant home-day, which also meant no-fun-day. Many parents placed an unspoken house rule upon the children, and barred them from going out. Some even went as far as to intimidate the youngsters, rain causes you to fall sick, bad things happen in the rain, rain makes it dangerous to be outside etc.

However as we grow older, we learn to appreciate light drizzle a little bit more, and sometimes would even prefer a stroll in the cooling weather over trudging through under a scorching tropical sun. 

2. Rain is sad

We equate down moments in our lives to the rainy seasons, and we console those around us that the storm will pass and there is always a rainbow after a heavy downpour. While there is some truth in this saying because some things do indeed become tougher when it's done in the rain (such as moving house), why not learn to dance in the rain? It's all about perspective-taking that runs against the need to be fast and effective- recall the last musical you watched, what happened when there is a heavy downpour? Yes, they sing and dance!

By the way, breakups, accidents, and everything unfortunate don't just happen when it rains. Soap opera dramatizes that so badly to the extent there is almost a positive correlations between the two already. When they say heaven cries, why can't that be tears of joy? 

3. Rain causes us to fall sick

Another one of my personal dislikes. Growing up, the older ones always like to nag about how we would fall sick if we are caught in the rain. When I was much younger, I ever wondered why. Are there any flu viruses in the rain?Especially those moments when the sun and the rain co-existed, my parents always warned me against getting myself caught in a 太阳雨 (sun-rain) because that would get me a fever. As a result, sun-rain was a taboo in my childhood and I would wash my hand if I ever came into contact with one of those raindrops, I'm not kidding. 

This is another instance of blame-pushing: justifying our laziness to take care of ourselves (wiping ourselves dry, taking warm shower etc.) by putting a convenient blame label on rain. Being drenched in a rain is really not so different from not drying ourselves properly after taking a nice cold shower!

4. Rain spoils the best plans

What's the other name for contingency plans for most events? Wet-weather plans. Many of us go about our lives thinking that the rain is out to spoil all our plans which we have put in place- birthday party, outdoor wedding ceremony, soccer games, BBQ etc. Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. 

Now, after 1 month of  drought, is the rain out to spoil our days, or is it an aide to our daily living? Try incorporating rain into our plans, I think it'd be awesome!

5. Bad things happen when it rains (crime)

Good things happen in rain too! 

1 Kings 18:41

"Then Elijah said to Ahab, “Go up, eat and drink; for there is the sound of abundance of rain.” "

On Generous Giving- Who Says We are Not Rich

Who Says We are Not Rich- "Being rich is not about how much you have, but how much you give. Somehow when you give, you'll be happier."

The whole thing about giving!

I know of a guy in his early 20s who has given away thousands. Growing up, his family monthly income was less than SGD1500...

Your financial background doesn't determine how much you can give, and it needs not be in the form of money. Time, love, availability, all are viable givings that will make your investments worthwhile and make you happy. 

On the contrary, I know of friends who grew up in the comfort of luxurious cars, private houses, successful parents, and yet always complaining about having not enough money.

You see, when we can't give when we have little (and deem giving as a rich man's activity), we probably can never give even when we become rich. It's not about how much we have, but how willing we are. It's a mentality, not a condition. 

Lest we become contented, lest we start holding less tightly to material possession, lest we start living in a realm of love... 

The reason why people get offended by the rally to be generous givers is because the audience caught on to the form of giving, and the preacher conveys the need to give, but the heart of giving is so misunderstood and so under-emphasized! Then instead of cheerful givers, we grew many grumpy ones. And for those who cannot afford, it left a taste of bitterness and people leave. Cheerful giving is not marked by the amount we give, neither is it marked by "my friend is doing this so I SHOULD support". Giving done out of obligation fetches an expectation of I've done you a favor or I've done my part.  Cheerful giving starts from catching on to the heart, the entire movement, the entire purpose and is driven by a sheer desire to want to make a difference. These givers burn with passion and desire, and constantly acknowledge that we can do more (no matter how much has already been done).

When we stop hanging onto our life (our livelihood and "important things"), we gain our life (happiness, joy, and a sense of purpose). Luke 17:33. I'm not advocating irresponsible spending or uncontrolled splurging... 

But when your purpose is clear, and you are primarily driven by a divine purpose - Love- try telling me there's no difference between buying a 15 dollars jersey to support a good cause and buying a 25 dollars branded shirt on a supposed good sale/discount.



Matthew 10:8
"Freely you have received, freely give."

Guard Your Heart

Guarding your heart is the key to waiting- when the heart succumb, it loses ground gradually. 

See, 1) it doesn't take personal experience to know that. In fact anyone who grows up in church would have heard about this: guard your heart. So here's a question: how does it look like? What does it mean to guard your heart? 

I'm gonna share about my definition, which... is not enough. I define guarding my heart as establishing a firm bottom line within. It's a personal responsibility and it has to be intentional.

I knew that but I fell nevertheless. 2) Head knowledge is not gonna save us from the moment, especially when the situation becomes misleading. Imagine: the girl is Godly, she drives you closer to God, she encourages you to pray, she shares your heart for the loss, and every other factor seems like a jackpot. Above all, the feeling is mutual. So how?

If it already seems like a difficult situation to deal with, I want to assure you, it is. And from my experience, I want to suggest that there are no instructions to be absolutely sure, but today I want to share about 7 markers/ reminders which can help to guard our heart.  

1. Remind ourselves that not every Godly/good man/woman is for us.  

When we get swept head over toes, don't be like an Anna (Frozen). I don't mean to shun, but I definitely meant not to dive. If our choice is based on how good/nice the other party is, better ones will come along even after marriage. Good ones versus the one! 

2. Don't grow affection before commitment. 

Who amongst us have infatuations/fallen in love before? Personally in all my previous relationships, 1 trend that permeates throughout is an unhealthy amount of messages. For the more daring ones, it could be the number of phone calls, or even the number of meet ups. There is a psychological phenomenon to explain this called the exposure effects. I can't emphasize this enough, especially during the seeking phase- we think we like the person but we are really not sure, so we call it the seeking and asking God phase. But then at the same time, we text the other party on a daily basis, almost everywhere we go. When I was sec 1, I remember I'd send up to 100 smses a day, just talking about nonsense. Even when I was overseas, I'd find every opportunity to text back, and now with whatsapp, wifi spot is like the go-to place. Yes, by being overseas include being on missions as well. And additional point would be that a healthy relationship should not distract us from our ministries!

3. Heed your friends' advice. 

We have our fair share of skeptical and critical friends, so of course I don't mean to take every feedback to be the indisputable truth. But when a friend who genuinely cares and takes time to talk to you, don't dismiss their good intentions. Give it some thoughts, even if it's not pleasing to the ears, and THEN decide whether to heed. 

4. Assess your other friendships. 

A healthy relationship should complement and enhance your existing social circle, not replace it. Are we spending a disproportionately large amount of time on our romantic partners, that our other friendships are being neglected? I fully subscribe to the saying that our wife/husband should become our best friend, notice, it's not the ONLY friend. If our best friend becomes our partner, all's good, but if we are trying to make our partner into our best friend, leave it till after marriage, or at least until we are officially together. Otherwise, it's gonna be an inaccurate assessment. In psych, it's called confirmation bias. 

5. A healthy relationship has nothing to hide. 

I myself came through a relationship which demanded me to keep it underground, and can I suggest that when there is something to hide, then there is something wrong. For my case, I was a non believer back then. Of course I fully respect the fact that a relationship is between two party, and many a times it's kept hush hush to protect both parties, from hurt, from naysayers and from gossips. Kudos to that! But that's only half the truth- more often we lose the clarity and the accountability because it's only between two parties. Regardless of whether it's the seeking phase, or whether we end up together, I ever recall cases whereby I told my friends, hey I have something important to do, and refuse to say what, when in fact I was actually meeting a certain someone, for something that may not be that important after all. 

The above helps us to keep the purity of heart by guarding with the identification of sure signs of a growing relationship (even if by mouth, we claim to be just friends). The last two markers help us to stay pure after entering a relationship. 

6. Start thinking, know early and establish firmly a certain baseline. 

To what extent of intimacy would I allow prior to marriage (if I'm easily tempted then I should set the threshold as stringent as possible- say don't even hold hand). "I don't know" is a lazy excuse during the relationship to evade responsibility. I don't know so you decide and when things go wrong, you'd be responsible for it. Adam blamed God and eve when he was the one who ate the apple. If we really don't know, then we are probably not ready for a relationship, and we should talk to our partner to resolve it maturely and prayerfully. 

7. Keep temptations at bay. 

Not just physical temptation such as lust, but also emotional ones- such as, once again an unhealthy dosage of messages or other activities that we indulge ourselves in because it feels good. I'm not saying that we shouldn't feel good, but if "I love you" is being abused, instead of expressing and informing love, we lose self-control in the process. Ever heard of stories whereby messages exchange look something like this: "you put the phone down first. No, you first. No, after you."
Or something like this: "I love you. No, I love you more. You know what, I love you this much." Yes, in Chinese we call it "情趣". We spice up our relationship by engaging in sweet talks. BUT if the majority of our conversation is this, beware! When love cools off, then maybe we will realize that there isn't much substance and depth in the relationship, so of course don't ever arrive at that. Stay away from tempting situation, and never succumb to indulging ourselves.

Basis of Faith

We don't know enough versus we don't know at all. 

Don't plant doubts, because doubts are not an expression of faith. When we seek God, there is a certain level of intimacy that we need to maintain, much like David, Abraham and even Job. Presumption or true expression of faith, we can argue until the cows come home. Both look the same, and there is probably little we can do to tease them apart, so a simple but effective guideline is this: decide based on your faith in who He is and maybe who you believe Him to be. It is definitely presumption when the faith is in the self- I can't be wrong about God, I saw those and I'm sure my interpretation is legit, God told me this and that must be it. The former is about God and in God, the latter is about self and in self.

Yet, never swing to the other end. Fact is this, Christianity is a relationship, God's Word is given with the intention of revealing Himself to us, God wants us to know Him. In other words, it is God's design and intention for us to move in faith, with Him as the anchor to keep us on track. If being cautious only makes us go a detour in our destiny, then maybe we can cut some slack here. But if being cautious causes tension, makes people doubt and even frustrates those under us because we think we know better- the moment (the critical point) is when our people start believing that they can't hear God- then the consequences can be dire and it ranges from a lifelong suppression/oppression and withdrawal into insecurity (since I can't hear, I better wait to be told by those who can) to complete fed up and quitting. 

This post is supposed to be an assurance to all, especially those who are leading. None of us know enough, and functioning from a point of thinking that we already know all is sheer delusion which almost certainly leads to disobedience. But functioning from a position of don't know at all completely overshadow the few facts that I've pointed out earlier on about God's nature and intention- it is out of fear and it is void of faith. That leaves many doors locked and inaccessible, and we become powerless and self-defeating. However functioning out of an acknowledgement of not knowing enough drives us to seek Him more, to know Him better, and to look upon the fulfillment of God's plan as a means to please God, not an end to itself. The focus of this is God, and our role here is to flourish that relationship. 

The biggest injustice to God is when people start calling out "Your will be done and not mine" thinking that it's all about God doing what He wants and what pleases Him. While that must be true, that is incomplete. When Jesus cried out that particular call of desperation, it was in the context of "take this cup away from me if it is possible". Your will be done and not mine must be understood in the context of knowing God and His nature, that His will is the best possible for us. It's not just pleasing to Him, but it is the most beneficial for us. Jesus was able to come to that conclusion/submission because He and God are One, and His relationship with God is the best that we can learn and imitate from. Therefore while His preference was to be rid of that short term suffering (take away the cup), He knew God enough to submit in order to rid of the long term suffering of humanity, which is infinitely better. 

Anyway, that is the biggest and most important submission in all of humanity, so when we call for His will to be done; never ever ever call it out of casual cluelessness, but perfect understanding and conviction of the goodness that is BOUND TO overflow from submitting because that is His nature. It's not just for Him, but in Him we gain us (pleasing Him benefits us).