On Generous Giving- Who Says We are Not Rich

Who Says We are Not Rich- "Being rich is not about how much you have, but how much you give. Somehow when you give, you'll be happier."

The whole thing about giving!

I know of a guy in his early 20s who has given away thousands. Growing up, his family monthly income was less than SGD1500...

Your financial background doesn't determine how much you can give, and it needs not be in the form of money. Time, love, availability, all are viable givings that will make your investments worthwhile and make you happy. 

On the contrary, I know of friends who grew up in the comfort of luxurious cars, private houses, successful parents, and yet always complaining about having not enough money.

You see, when we can't give when we have little (and deem giving as a rich man's activity), we probably can never give even when we become rich. It's not about how much we have, but how willing we are. It's a mentality, not a condition. 

Lest we become contented, lest we start holding less tightly to material possession, lest we start living in a realm of love... 

The reason why people get offended by the rally to be generous givers is because the audience caught on to the form of giving, and the preacher conveys the need to give, but the heart of giving is so misunderstood and so under-emphasized! Then instead of cheerful givers, we grew many grumpy ones. And for those who cannot afford, it left a taste of bitterness and people leave. Cheerful giving is not marked by the amount we give, neither is it marked by "my friend is doing this so I SHOULD support". Giving done out of obligation fetches an expectation of I've done you a favor or I've done my part.  Cheerful giving starts from catching on to the heart, the entire movement, the entire purpose and is driven by a sheer desire to want to make a difference. These givers burn with passion and desire, and constantly acknowledge that we can do more (no matter how much has already been done).

When we stop hanging onto our life (our livelihood and "important things"), we gain our life (happiness, joy, and a sense of purpose). Luke 17:33. I'm not advocating irresponsible spending or uncontrolled splurging... 

But when your purpose is clear, and you are primarily driven by a divine purpose - Love- try telling me there's no difference between buying a 15 dollars jersey to support a good cause and buying a 25 dollars branded shirt on a supposed good sale/discount.



Matthew 10:8
"Freely you have received, freely give."

Guard Your Heart

Guarding your heart is the key to waiting- when the heart succumb, it loses ground gradually. 

See, 1) it doesn't take personal experience to know that. In fact anyone who grows up in church would have heard about this: guard your heart. So here's a question: how does it look like? What does it mean to guard your heart? 

I'm gonna share about my definition, which... is not enough. I define guarding my heart as establishing a firm bottom line within. It's a personal responsibility and it has to be intentional.

I knew that but I fell nevertheless. 2) Head knowledge is not gonna save us from the moment, especially when the situation becomes misleading. Imagine: the girl is Godly, she drives you closer to God, she encourages you to pray, she shares your heart for the loss, and every other factor seems like a jackpot. Above all, the feeling is mutual. So how?

If it already seems like a difficult situation to deal with, I want to assure you, it is. And from my experience, I want to suggest that there are no instructions to be absolutely sure, but today I want to share about 7 markers/ reminders which can help to guard our heart.  

1. Remind ourselves that not every Godly/good man/woman is for us.  

When we get swept head over toes, don't be like an Anna (Frozen). I don't mean to shun, but I definitely meant not to dive. If our choice is based on how good/nice the other party is, better ones will come along even after marriage. Good ones versus the one! 

2. Don't grow affection before commitment. 

Who amongst us have infatuations/fallen in love before? Personally in all my previous relationships, 1 trend that permeates throughout is an unhealthy amount of messages. For the more daring ones, it could be the number of phone calls, or even the number of meet ups. There is a psychological phenomenon to explain this called the exposure effects. I can't emphasize this enough, especially during the seeking phase- we think we like the person but we are really not sure, so we call it the seeking and asking God phase. But then at the same time, we text the other party on a daily basis, almost everywhere we go. When I was sec 1, I remember I'd send up to 100 smses a day, just talking about nonsense. Even when I was overseas, I'd find every opportunity to text back, and now with whatsapp, wifi spot is like the go-to place. Yes, by being overseas include being on missions as well. And additional point would be that a healthy relationship should not distract us from our ministries!

3. Heed your friends' advice. 

We have our fair share of skeptical and critical friends, so of course I don't mean to take every feedback to be the indisputable truth. But when a friend who genuinely cares and takes time to talk to you, don't dismiss their good intentions. Give it some thoughts, even if it's not pleasing to the ears, and THEN decide whether to heed. 

4. Assess your other friendships. 

A healthy relationship should complement and enhance your existing social circle, not replace it. Are we spending a disproportionately large amount of time on our romantic partners, that our other friendships are being neglected? I fully subscribe to the saying that our wife/husband should become our best friend, notice, it's not the ONLY friend. If our best friend becomes our partner, all's good, but if we are trying to make our partner into our best friend, leave it till after marriage, or at least until we are officially together. Otherwise, it's gonna be an inaccurate assessment. In psych, it's called confirmation bias. 

5. A healthy relationship has nothing to hide. 

I myself came through a relationship which demanded me to keep it underground, and can I suggest that when there is something to hide, then there is something wrong. For my case, I was a non believer back then. Of course I fully respect the fact that a relationship is between two party, and many a times it's kept hush hush to protect both parties, from hurt, from naysayers and from gossips. Kudos to that! But that's only half the truth- more often we lose the clarity and the accountability because it's only between two parties. Regardless of whether it's the seeking phase, or whether we end up together, I ever recall cases whereby I told my friends, hey I have something important to do, and refuse to say what, when in fact I was actually meeting a certain someone, for something that may not be that important after all. 

The above helps us to keep the purity of heart by guarding with the identification of sure signs of a growing relationship (even if by mouth, we claim to be just friends). The last two markers help us to stay pure after entering a relationship. 

6. Start thinking, know early and establish firmly a certain baseline. 

To what extent of intimacy would I allow prior to marriage (if I'm easily tempted then I should set the threshold as stringent as possible- say don't even hold hand). "I don't know" is a lazy excuse during the relationship to evade responsibility. I don't know so you decide and when things go wrong, you'd be responsible for it. Adam blamed God and eve when he was the one who ate the apple. If we really don't know, then we are probably not ready for a relationship, and we should talk to our partner to resolve it maturely and prayerfully. 

7. Keep temptations at bay. 

Not just physical temptation such as lust, but also emotional ones- such as, once again an unhealthy dosage of messages or other activities that we indulge ourselves in because it feels good. I'm not saying that we shouldn't feel good, but if "I love you" is being abused, instead of expressing and informing love, we lose self-control in the process. Ever heard of stories whereby messages exchange look something like this: "you put the phone down first. No, you first. No, after you."
Or something like this: "I love you. No, I love you more. You know what, I love you this much." Yes, in Chinese we call it "情趣". We spice up our relationship by engaging in sweet talks. BUT if the majority of our conversation is this, beware! When love cools off, then maybe we will realize that there isn't much substance and depth in the relationship, so of course don't ever arrive at that. Stay away from tempting situation, and never succumb to indulging ourselves.

Basis of Faith

We don't know enough versus we don't know at all. 

Don't plant doubts, because doubts are not an expression of faith. When we seek God, there is a certain level of intimacy that we need to maintain, much like David, Abraham and even Job. Presumption or true expression of faith, we can argue until the cows come home. Both look the same, and there is probably little we can do to tease them apart, so a simple but effective guideline is this: decide based on your faith in who He is and maybe who you believe Him to be. It is definitely presumption when the faith is in the self- I can't be wrong about God, I saw those and I'm sure my interpretation is legit, God told me this and that must be it. The former is about God and in God, the latter is about self and in self.

Yet, never swing to the other end. Fact is this, Christianity is a relationship, God's Word is given with the intention of revealing Himself to us, God wants us to know Him. In other words, it is God's design and intention for us to move in faith, with Him as the anchor to keep us on track. If being cautious only makes us go a detour in our destiny, then maybe we can cut some slack here. But if being cautious causes tension, makes people doubt and even frustrates those under us because we think we know better- the moment (the critical point) is when our people start believing that they can't hear God- then the consequences can be dire and it ranges from a lifelong suppression/oppression and withdrawal into insecurity (since I can't hear, I better wait to be told by those who can) to complete fed up and quitting. 

This post is supposed to be an assurance to all, especially those who are leading. None of us know enough, and functioning from a point of thinking that we already know all is sheer delusion which almost certainly leads to disobedience. But functioning from a position of don't know at all completely overshadow the few facts that I've pointed out earlier on about God's nature and intention- it is out of fear and it is void of faith. That leaves many doors locked and inaccessible, and we become powerless and self-defeating. However functioning out of an acknowledgement of not knowing enough drives us to seek Him more, to know Him better, and to look upon the fulfillment of God's plan as a means to please God, not an end to itself. The focus of this is God, and our role here is to flourish that relationship. 

The biggest injustice to God is when people start calling out "Your will be done and not mine" thinking that it's all about God doing what He wants and what pleases Him. While that must be true, that is incomplete. When Jesus cried out that particular call of desperation, it was in the context of "take this cup away from me if it is possible". Your will be done and not mine must be understood in the context of knowing God and His nature, that His will is the best possible for us. It's not just pleasing to Him, but it is the most beneficial for us. Jesus was able to come to that conclusion/submission because He and God are One, and His relationship with God is the best that we can learn and imitate from. Therefore while His preference was to be rid of that short term suffering (take away the cup), He knew God enough to submit in order to rid of the long term suffering of humanity, which is infinitely better. 

Anyway, that is the biggest and most important submission in all of humanity, so when we call for His will to be done; never ever ever call it out of casual cluelessness, but perfect understanding and conviction of the goodness that is BOUND TO overflow from submitting because that is His nature. It's not just for Him, but in Him we gain us (pleasing Him benefits us).

Slipping Through

Some weeks back when our readings for Bahasa Indonesia module talked about street kids in Indonesia, I responded with firm conviction that Singapore has the problem as well, sadly. It shocked many, especially my Indonesian teachers who readily took in the beautiful image that the nation has been actively painting over the years. Yes, we are rich; yes, we are clean; yes, we are not corrupted; yes, we are safe; yes, we are efficient, and hence we have no problem. Far from that...

My acquaintance with Tamar village, together with my infrequent involvement in the less accessed regions such as Geylang, helped me to gain insights into these invisibles. We did a good job keeping them off the streets (during the day at least) and it's no wonder few are aware of their existence. It takes deliberate effort to locate them in the wee hours of the night to find them in parks, public squares, on benches, and quite literally scavenging for necessities such as food. Homelessness is a very real issue around us: (Out in the Cold). 

Many times, it's not the obvious issue that is the hardest to address. Everyone in the world knows that the Africans need help; everyone in the world knows that SEA is one of the most notorious regions for sex trades; everyone in Singapore knows that living in Singapore is tough and work-life balance hangs in the balance. But it is the seemingly well that hides away the genuine needs. Homelessness is not just invisible in Singapore- it has been camouflaged! Perceived wellness and wealthiness conceal nicely the kind of income disparity that has been widening at alarming pace. While traffic system, haze, NS and cost of living dominated the headlines in recent years, the phenomenon also shed light into how the voices of the voiceless are constantly being muted. Urgency is determined by demands, and the magnitude of the demands by the amount of influence the people has. Hobos and the likes who have little and have been easily brushed aside and chased around continue to be brushed aside and chased around, as precious resources are being channeled into appeasing furious citizens who are increasingly being spoilt (made unreasonable by the unreasonable demands of living here). 

At the end of the day, politics are a game for the rich- much like a trade- a constant demonstration of proving themselves and gaining credibility so as to establish better grounds to garner votes the next time round. My conviction about my Christian faith (we preach the gospel because we love you; we don't love you in order to preach the gospel) applies here too: politicians who genuinely love and are committed to serving their people want to get elected so that they can serve; many serve so that they can get elected again the next time round. Both would look the same, and I'm in no position nor do I have the capacity to analyze who belongs to which categories, except that as it stands, much dust balls and dirt have accumulated under the carpet. 

~               ~                   ~

Awareness, and then a desire to make a difference, and then actions to initiate change. 

PS. My compassion cannot reach far. Even with all that has been said, I ponder at the possibility of what could have been. Could Chua from that video have done anything in his youth to better his situation? I sympathize with his predicament, but I think his current predicament does not and should not negate his irresponsible living/parenting in his youth (if that is really the case). Granted, the children should never ever have abandoned him... I just thought there must be some deeper issues.

Service makes me grateful for the privilege of involvement; serving makes me realize the smallness of me in His big works. 

This is no sacrifice because I merely dedicated what I like to do unto Him, and I am glad that it created a small movement within my social circle. While things remain sketchy as to how much they have caught onto what I was trying to convey, I remain hopeful that they will remember- that good works are not a distant things, that God's works are happening at our doorsteps. 

As we crossed the finishing line, we carried the burdens of many friends and family, and that is a prophetic act of breakthrough. This shall set the precedence, and the youngsters shall rise up, and the old shall be strengthened, and as a generation, we will usher in the Kingdom of God onto this shore we call home! 

Moving Ahead, By Myself (God and me)

Whenever something exciting takes shape in my imagination, I always have the urge to share with others about these ingenious ideas. Many times I set off in hope of rallying some excited souls to come alongside, to take on these challenges; and many times I ended up frustrated and disappointed.

I don't know if I had come off wanting these friends to be refreshed in their minds and souls, like how Christians go around shoving gospels in the faces of their unbelieving loved ones. OR perhaps, rallying had really been a perfect guise to hide my own incompetency, my own fear of commitment, and to find a cushion to diffuse responsibility. Isn't that how social support works- when you feel like stopping, you can rely on these people to keep you moving. 

I have no qualms about sharing the testimonies, especially the Gospel. After all in a huge portion of my early faith, I always boldly declared that "things are so good, and we can't help but to share it with our friends", and then I would proceed with quoting many biblical examples about how those handicapped ones rejoiced, how the women by the well told everyone, and even how Joseph boasted about his dreams to his brothers. Good things are to be shared, and there is something special that happens not just to the audience, but the person who shares during this process...

BUT today, I'm pulling a halt to the conviction. My conviction still stands, but I'm also beginning to recognize the flaw. What appears to be may not be what it really is. My own words are coming back at me. Rather than blaming God for a lack of companions, I have been guilty of being a disappointment too. Right now looking back at those times when I got two good friends to come along with me to do the simple blessing project, but ended up being frustrated and annoyed by their lackluster posture... What if I have been guilty of that as well...

Some things, we just have to do it alone (with God), and my rallying should fall back onto that same principle once more. Lest I am secured in God; lest I am satisfied in God, everyone else wouldn't. 

Therefore this time round, I'm moving ahead, by myself (God and me)! 

God's Timing

And while they were there, the time came for her delivery, And she gave birth to her Son, her Firstborn; and she wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room or place for them in the inn. (Luke 2:6, 7 AMP)

The time came! Not perceptually- because the Savior came with a capital "S", but was nothing like superman. Weak and vulnerable He came.
Not logically- because the Savior came at a time when there isn't even room for one, but He came anyway because the world needs Him.

God's timing is not about the best explanation of why and how. The right timing shouldn't be sign or pursuit-based. It should be embraced-based!

My feelings are often unreliable (Rick Warren, 2014). The timing never seem right at Jesus's birth, but because Jesus came the time became right! Take Jesus out of the picture, and the entire nativity story becomes a hoax!

Obedience isn't about knowing God's plan and then doing accordingly; obedience is about knowing God and then do everything driven by a desire to please God. If we keep saying Christianity is a relationship then the way we relate should reflect that. God's plan is a means to please God, not a blueprint to robotically restrain people.

Today many don't live and work from freedom because of a perceptual imposing notion of "I'm not hearing God right". Fear seeps in, frustration seeps in, disillusion seeps in. Working in faith gets chained up with many "what ifs".
Paul wanted to go to Asia Minor, and it took an angelic interception to change his path; David proposed to build a temple for God. Two of the most inspiring figures in the bible had rooms to practice free will and "do what they want" instead of being always overwhelmed by a constant ponderous indecisiveness.

Am I saying that we shouldn't pray then? By no means, but like how David and Paul walked out their prayer lives, relate with God in every words we utter. In His Word, He told us to ask on many occasions so we should ask, but because we genuinely don't know. Otherwise, know God and love God, the rest should fall into place. 

Anyway, be very careful. I'm not sure how clear or how people might misinterpret it. I'm not advocating presumptions, and loving God and knowing God should not become excuses for impatience, laziness to pray etc. in fact, knowing God (fearing God) is the beginning of wisdom. If anything, those things should lead us to praying more, and desiring to know Him deeper!