Song of Solomon 2:7
"... do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
Just want to know how to get through this. I think it's kinda obvious, and I don't know if I should be thankful for the play along- to get the hopes up or for just being nice. Either way, each of these moments always set my heart on an accelerator. It's a bliss, and precisely because of that, it makes objectivity all the more difficult. It's always this period of "neutrality" that I struggle with- how neutral is that, or rather just how neutral have I tried to make it... (not much)
Something within is stirring, like the boxes from Madagascar, the feelings yearn to erupt. Those romantic high, those moments of loss, those... I don't know what are there to count, but it feels like a fairy tale, a disney production, the happily-ever-after chase.
O Lord, I cannot live apart from You. I pray that You will fast-forward my heart's proceedings. Bring it to a point of numbness like how most feelings eventually become. It is funny how a healthy relationship can only sprout from loving less (perhaps not really- less obsessed sounds better). Anyone who comes after You but do not hate his father or mother, cannot follow You. Lord Jesus, I do not want to be like Solomon, and I pray that You will help me to stay rooted in You. It's primarily her heart for You that attracts, but how ironic would it be if in chasing a relationship, that disappears. Let this heart be tuned to be like Yours. More haste less speed, teach me patience. In the course of it, I might lose out, might invite judgments or even misunderstandings, but Lord, through all these, I just pray that You will keep me and guide me. May my heart remain true to You always... Amen.
A struggling prince.
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