The Kind of Pain that You do not Know

If pain is measured on a scale of 10, with 1 being not pain at all, how would your life be rated? 

If my life had been 1, it would have sailed smoothly, with a stern wind and a following seas aiding my cause. I call that bliss.

If my life had been a 10, it would have fallen at every crack, and I would have all the reason in the world to lament.

But what if my life is an 8, or worse still what if it's a 6. Life's not that bad, but it lingers on the bad side. No one really seems to be too bothered, or simply cared enough to come around. Really, life's just fine as it is. Look at the African kids! Count your blessings, dude! You have to agree with me that a 6 sucks! 

A 6 kind of pain is the kind of pain that condemns many to mediocrity. Working adults continually ponder over their career, albeit it being far from what they've ever wanted. Many ended up slogging their lives away, all in the name of "at least it feeds my family". At least, that's what shortchanges; above all, that's what convinces us to settle for less. 

A 6-kind of pain invites skepticism. Come on, it's not that bad. I think this is what kills today. Gone are the days when explicit killings and persecutions haunt and threaten the safety of humanity, barring aside the ISIS situation. A 6 kind of pain throws people off our guard when we do not know how to respond- When the decision to stand firm takes the form of putting up with, rather than speaking up for. 

A 6-kind of pain receives the least support. You are stronger than this! A 6-kind of pain creates a barrier against seeking help. I am not that weak. Voices like that continually ring in our head, and how many of us are willing to concede- that the nibbling pain is devouring us in a manner we feel helpless about. Yes, I am living; yes, I am surviving; yes, I have all my biological needs met; yes, I'm being a good enough parent; but wait... In doing all those, I am actually losing myself, gradually.  

A 6-kind of pain creates shame. What if I feel like I do not belong; what if where I am now is a result of a perceived mistake. I am serving my consequence, a term; and each step is a drag. Then comes the expectation from the bigger pool- where is your spirit of excellence? Your attitude sucks! Pursuing alternative satisfaction becomes a source of great shame and guilt. Competition for attention renders me unable to commit the same kind of devotion toward my "job" as I inevitably choose the things which reinvigorate me. Compounded by the lack of passion, I struggle big time at work. I am trying, all the time, but it just never seems enough. 

A 6-kind of pain hurts more than a 10. Who knows petty issues are the ones that kill? A sharp pain would trigger the application/consumption of a medication to remedy the illness, but an illness without any symptom is the one that leads to fatality. 

I have the 6-kind of pain. Maybe things are really not that bad, but they ain't that good either. So when you began to conclude that "surely things ain't that bad", that conclusion makes things that much worse.