It's not knowing about Him; it's knowing Him

Season in season out, I learn, unlearn, and relearn. 
Within me is a mixed emotion. Perhaps there has never been a time more real than this to realize the common saying about knowing Him instead of knowing about Him. 
It's an exciting season (still very much so even 6 months after the first declaration). Many believers, many of whom I have known and have not, are talking about the next revival, the approaching end time, the rising of a golden generation, and the optimism goes on. In congruence to it, I'm being increasingly exposed to novelties, having just attended my first Christian seminar 2 weeks back, and then signing up for even more of such; reading doctrinal challenging concepts in the likes of the Supernatural Ways of Royalty; discovering the deeper ends of this relationship, this identity, this royalty, this Love (so overwhelming). 
Yet, just as all these 'excitement' explosion takes place, in my heart is a tingling. It's a dissatisfaction that mirrors Einstein's lamentation about the more we know, the more we know that we don't know. O God, the closer I draw to You, the greater the desire to draw even closer. 
At this phase, friends are important, amongst whom my fellow brothers and sisters in-Christ matter the most in helping me stand rooted in my walk. Thank God for friends indeed!
And there are times when I became disappointed, even disheartened by a common misconception about me. The misunderstanding rendered me so helpless sometimes, and I wonder why can't You just take them away. But just as a loving Father would, You let me tumble my way under Your close supervision so that I may learn how to walk. Thank You for the promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13! 


Father, 
There are so many times when I doubted and questioned. There are so many times when I simply did not understand. Those frustrating moments, I can only thank You for Your patience, for putting up with my ignorance. I can't promise that will never happen again, but I just wanna make the commitment to turn back to You whenever that happens again. So for that 5 minutes or 10 minutes, I just wanna thank You so much for the already given grace and mercy, and the many good things You have already lined along my path that will help me see. Lord God, I pray for more revelations and an extra keen sensitivity toward You. Sometimes it's really hard to reconcile things, but I believe in Your timing I will see. I hope it's not too long a wait, but again You know when it's best for me...
You are still the Lover of my life! Thank You God!