Don't be an extremist!

I dislike how "I don't feel a burden", "my heart lies elsewhere", "I have other focus" have become an overhyped excuse. 

This reminded me of what I would call the pendulum-syndrome- in other words, the extremist. When one is at A, he continues to look in the same direction until he realizes how extreme he has been, and then a teaching might result a change and then sway him in the opposite, and inertia sets in. Bible says that our path is a narrow one, almost akin to the one single lowest point on the course of a pendulum's swing. So often we pass it, and so often we let it pass by, satisfied with our occasional passing and contented in the swinging game. Only those who keep their eyes fixed, and the mind set on the Centre- they are the ones who persevered and will be called good and faithful servants.

Therefore, I feel sad. Indeed we ought not to over commit, and we ought to do only what we see the Father do (hear what He calls us to do), but how much of that has been watered down to contain our own lackluster motivation to work and just being comfortable in the "current state". Of course, God would not call us to an area where we do not have heart for, but where our faith lies become extremely obvious thereafter. Do we trust that God gives us the heart (it may not be there initially, but He develops it as we respond to His call) or do we just willfully brush it aside and say "this is totally not for me". 
Sometimes, concerns frame us up so badly, and hence suffocate and choke our destiny. A love-driven concern goes for the people; other concerns go for the situation: and it only shows the insecurity manifested in the need to be in control (one of the underlying factors for many of the psychological disorder). 
My conviction is simple: when God shows us something and touches us somewhat, it is not for us to understand (it'd be a bonus if we do), but it is for us to respond. We saw the hurt and we ached in the heart; we saw the injustice and we fumed within; we saw transformation and we feel a relieving joy. All these do not lay just as that (they can if we want them to), but I want to and I pray for many to desire the same- for a Joshua 10 experience, to be a man who commanded the planets and pressed in for complete victory.

It is one man's teaching that the devil keeps us away from God by keeping us busy- by filling up our times with the dos in order to compromise our need to "be" (in His presence); the contrary is true too when the master of lies plant in us an idea that we are ONLY called into where we think we ought to be placed in. My take is this: compassion can only come from Him, and if He helps us to see the needs, He has already called. Each of us has a different capacity so never let other people's judgment/gauge of too-much/too-little affect how we serve and respond to Him (find our security in Him, not men's affirmation). Know this well: the spiritual realm can be complicated or it can be simple: the latter splits it into two camps (God's and the enemy's), and the warfare ought to be understood to help us fight it. The devil's ploy is to keep us away from God, not to keep us from doing too much/little. So by changing the amount that we do, we change nothing, lest we bring in the element of drawing back to God. If we are too busy, we seek God, and if that requires us to drop certain things we drop VERSUS If we are too busy, we drop things and make space to seek God. The former is an act of submission of obedience, the latter is an act of control; the former sees God as the solution but the latter sees God as a problem; the former finds peace, but he latter struggles to keep peace. Both look the same, but in essence they show a very different heart. 

Hear me out, I don't believe (it's definitely no coincidence) that we are to be mere audience in any one areas of His works. Jesus did not reject any prayer requests; as much as He was not a wish-granting genie, He answered every request in accordance with a divine knowledge that comes out of a genuine conviction of the power and the Spirit. Men may not know what they ask, but God knows how to answer even the wrong questions: our role usher in God's presence and lift the issue up to Him! Being ACTIVELY engaged in the battles of the Lord is a privilege that is ours to lose. 

Don't be an extremist: a season that teaches us how to say no is a season that teaches us discernment to decide what is and what is not; not a broad brush that paints big N-O in every thing that comes out way. 

I wanna rally God's people to effect a change. 

"Having seen all this you can choose to look the other way, but you can never say again, 'I do not know'." 

~William Wilberforce~ 

Seasonal comment

When one begins adopting new perspectives, the matter-of-facts swell beyond their known sizes. And then I realize the magnitude of the things of God- Joshua 10: we were always made to press on for the completion of the works that He has started. They are so huge- this is an attitude (conviction) issue, much tying in with my seasonal message about the "realness of the spiritual realm". That, includes many things that encompasses the likes of the constant awareness of the very real spiritual realm that is in continual operation around us, the prayer-based movements etc.

Even at this point in my walk, I continue to struggle. I would like to think that I learn it well, and it goes to the back of the head and remains there most of the time. This causes a transformation of the heart. Yet, the struggle continues; yet, I began my paragraph with an "even". And then I understood a portion of Paul's teachings in the epistles. It is ongoing, it is personal, it changes, it is active, that's why it is susceptible. Even as I continue to struggle, I continue to strive and yearn for an improvement. Grant me an increase in faith! 

Reflections upon the Trilogy of Love

I feel inspired, and those things were really mind blowing! I loved it, especially seeing how my God moves so mightily amongst His children. It was fantastic! 

My first interaction with Wanderlust Productions was probably about half a year back when I watched the trailer for Father of Lights on Youtube. I remember how I had wanted to catch it when it is to be released in the later part of the year, only to be denied by how it's not gonna be shown in Singapore cinema due to its 'explicit' content. Thereafter I rewatched the entire trailer numerous times and reposted it on my wall, until one day before one of my final papers last semester, Blossom told me about Finger of God. I found it online (it was available for only a very short while and has since been taken down when I went back to get it just a few weeks back) and watched it on the eve itself. Then came Furious Love which my Youth Pastor possess a copy of the DVD, and finally today curtesy of Trinity Methodist church, they screened Father of Lights, completing my viewing of the trilogy. 

It was so good! They were all so good, really were!

But...

I don't want it to be just that, at least for myself. 

To be frank, I've watched Finger of God twice (shared it once with my atheist french lecturer), Furious Love thrice, trailer of Father of Lights numerous times, and today I caught the actual film. 

I've had my fair share of feel-good moments. The films were amazing, they have to be, since they were all talking about my mighty Father! I thank God for the wonderful things that He is doing- the works in the remotest parts of the world, the clashing of love with darkness, the transformation in the hearts of men, the faithfulness He has demonstrated through His obedient children, the revolution in the gospel, the penetration of love, the revelation of identity, and the list goes on. So much were captured in the 3 films. 

Finger of God came at a time when I was trying to grasp the reality of God in my life, when all seemed unclear. Why don't I hear/see You as clearly as how so many people had shared about You? I know it's possible, but the knowledge didn't translate into conviction. When is it going to happen to me? And then I saw gold teeth, gold dust, precious gems, manna, all within the first 10 minutes of the film. That moment, I knew I had to watch this. And true enough, the realness of my faith came upon me. It was not until 2 weeks back (18 August at Kingdom Culture conference, 4-5 months after) when I had my experience of gold dusts, but the stirring in the heart was real. Coming to 4 years in this faith, but power and authority were novel topics that I have never been exposed to, maybe sensitive as well. This entire period of close to half a year had been revolutionary to me, and it felt like I have rediscovered God, that many watered down teachings had been inconsistent and much had been forced into the mould of acceptability based entirely on human standards. 

Furious Love almost came like a byproduct. I was really searching for Father of Lights when I learnt about the availability of Furious Love, but this turned out to be the one film where I found the most revolutionizing about my faith- the realness of the Spiritual realm. Things were beginning to fall into place as bits and pieces of those 'revelations' rocked me as I sat through the film. Love overcomes fear, Love touches the deepest wounds, Love reigns despite sorrow, Love displaces logic, Love saves, Love shines. It's really all about Love! With searching and self-serving intent, men made it hard for themselves, when it really is all about Love- the Love that is bigger and far greater than any fears out there. Yes, there are false teachings to be wary of, yes there is need for repentance, yes bad things happen, yes we ought to seek His will; yet let us not dichotomize and mutually exclude the confidence we have because of this Love. I like how they say Truth is a person because Jesus said He is the Truth, and while discovering Truth, they lost the person. I got reminded of Jude when he said that even archangel Michael dared not pronounce a judgment against the devil, because he knew his place. God judges, and for now we love as He loves. In complementation to Kris Vallotton's "Supernatural Ways of Royalty", I have to guess that I was going somewhere. Christianity starts from knowing who we are, then from who we are we do what we do- to love. What we have in abundance, we lavish upon others; by knowing that we are the direct heirs of the King, the one thing we have in most abundance is His Agape Love. We love because He first loved us, and like a rich man's son, the limitless source ought to help us to love in a radical way. The swedish guy put it very matter-of-factly, "when people are dying, when almost every women in the village had been raped, all the cheap talks in church are not going to help. (rephrased) Jesus is literally all that they have with them." When I heard the worship recording of these people, I teared... Love overcomes fears, even in the most dire of situations. I end this with one of the central theme, God is not interested in picking a fight. He just wants to love. (My take: Love is this overwhelming wave of conquer, no darkness can stand against it, at all)

Father of Lights gave me plenty of expectations from the previous 2. When I heard about its screening, it was almost a no-brainer that I had to go for this. Remember the number of its trailers I had watched? Yes, numerous (in other words, uncountable). It began with a deep yearning. I desire it so much, it's almost like coveting- I covet for that same gift, the daily hearing of His audible voice! I used to tell people that Finger of God is a documentary about miracles while Furious Love is about spiritual warfare, both of which were very appropriate adjectives to describe the respective films. Not so for Father of Lights though. My take after watching it is that this film is about transformation- of life, of person, of thinking, of attitude, of conviction, of faith. A tangible assurance (miracle), a manual to life (spiritual victory), ending off with a promise to obedience (transformation). It is one thing to say that this person has faith, it is a whole different thing to say what this person has faith in. 

Father of Lights showcased the many transformed lives that have been won for Him, and won by Him. The radical change is really.. radical! I witness the difference, and am definitely encouraged by how Mike and Deena gave up his vice president position in a bank, sold everything they had, lugging bags of clothes with their 3 children (the oldest being only 8) to a foreign land in China where they don't even speak the language. If not a transformation of the heart, of the conviction and of the faith, what could have inspired such seemingly reckless act? (Deena ever questioned herself, what kind of mother would do that to her kids, leaving behind nice house and comfortable environment, and bringing them into a foreign land where rats roam in their new apartments) Faith doesn't require us to be not resentful, but it requires us to look beyond the resentment and see that all is good because God is good and He is in control and He provides. 

The rest of the story? I'll leave you all to watch the films yourselves. It's definitely worth the time!

Tangible assurance, manual to life, transformation. Deep within me is a strong desire to be like those people in the film. I pray for an increase in faith that will allow me to walk the streets like Todd did, and I pray for an abandoning heart like Mike and Deena to forsake all to follow You, and I pray for a sensitive and intimate relationship with You like how Ravi hears You daily. Above all, I pray for a transformation within. It's not about feeling good, or even feeling inspired. Nothing wrong with those, and they are good things. But if I walk away being the same, thinking the same way, filling those spaces once again with life concerns and worries, then why did I even bother to say that I follow You. Lord God, I genuinely believe that You are the same God who stirred up all the wonderful things in the 3 films, and I wanna claim upon those things. In Jesus's name, I seal these things upon the lives of all who have watched them, and I pray that You will move through and amongst them mightily. Pour out Your Love and raise up a generation of Your mighty lovers, and rock the world with this tsunami of Love, which crushes and demolishes whatever strongholds that stand in its way. Lord God, In Jesus's name, I command the departure of fears and doubts. Fill us anew with Your Spirit and make us whole in our service unto You. Amen!

tug-of-war (internal struggle)

Song of Solomon 2:7

"... do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

Just want to know how to get through this. I think it's kinda obvious, and I don't know if I should be thankful for the play along- to get the hopes up or for just being nice. Either way, each of these moments always set my heart on an accelerator. It's a bliss, and precisely because of that, it makes objectivity all the more difficult. It's always this period of "neutrality" that I struggle with- how neutral is that, or rather just how neutral have I tried to make it... (not much)

Something within is stirring, like the boxes from Madagascar, the feelings yearn to erupt. Those romantic high, those moments of loss, those... I don't know what are there to count, but it feels like a fairy tale, a disney production, the happily-ever-after chase. 

O Lord, I cannot live apart from You. I pray that You will fast-forward my heart's proceedings. Bring it to a point of numbness like how most feelings eventually become. It is funny how a healthy relationship can only sprout from loving less (perhaps not really- less obsessed sounds better). Anyone who comes after You but do not hate his father or mother, cannot follow You. Lord Jesus, I do not want to be like Solomon, and I pray that You will help me to stay rooted in You. It's primarily her heart for You that attracts, but how ironic would it be if in chasing a relationship, that disappears. Let this heart be tuned to be like Yours. More haste less speed, teach me patience. In the course of it, I might lose out, might invite judgments or even misunderstandings, but Lord, through all these, I just pray that You will keep me and guide me. May my heart remain true to You always... Amen.

A struggling prince.

It's some Big Deal...

~Jesus loves you anyway~

"Two seconds! I just need to clear up that spill there..." "Oh, and my shirt! I ought to get a change too. The stain's making it look quite bad..." "How about..." 

The list goes on... Self-consciousness transforms into the most prominent trait ever when things become a little uncomfortable. All of a sudden I am the most humble man in town. Sounds familiar? 

In contrary to Isaiah's response in Isaiah 6:8, when God calls, more often than not we respond with a "why" or a "but" answer. I refuse to term them 'excuses', because a genuine sense of lack continues to bog many today, even those who are perceivably 'strong in their walk'. It is not an excuse, but a misaligned conviction- one that weaves lies to convince us of our inequity, that we are not good enough, and that we are weak. Little surprise that such messages permeate in many teachings today. The father of lies uses half-truths. Compared to God, of course we are not good enough, of course we are inadequate and we are weak, but in the same breath we overlook the fact that we are the children of God, heirs to His rich inheritances, receivers of His grace and power, dwelling places of the Holy Spirit. Such promises have been watered down to make them more acceptable in terms of the level of comfort as well as their relative acceptability. It is easy to use such words to encourage others, and even in our own prayers. But when the moments arise, the top gets blown away. A worship leader could decline to acknowledge praises despite a good session (when humility becomes thinking less of the self instead of thinking of the self less); a youth could reject his calling because of what he perceives to be not ready (Moses, Abraham, Jonah, the Apostles etc. were not ready when God called, but God was the One who led them through their calling). 

We walk in a poverty that is uncharacteristic of the supernatural ways of royalty because of the failure to recognize and reconcile our comprehension of  God's promises and His nature. He is the Father, and His grace is sufficient.

I like how Philip Montofa dissected Holy Spirit into Holy and Spirit. Holy (the first name) is a believers' privilege to call because of our intimate relationship with Him, and our part is to remain Holy; Spirit (the last name) is His to take care of. My take is that we do not play God in deciding the suitability of a situation, a candidate, or even a decision. Instead, remain Holy and true to Him and that includes obedience and sensitivity- ie. we listen and look out for His instructions, and we, quite literally, just follow! 

Let us all rediscover our identity in Christ. We are the princes and princesses in this Kingdom, and Jesus had come to reclaim what Adam had surrendered, so lest we go in agreement with him, he has no power over us (John 14:30). Instead, let us all live in full confidence for we have received (Luke 10:19). Through the blood of Christ, grace abounds! 

It does indeed matter for He has come so that we may experience and have the fullness of life (John 10:10). 

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Empathizing the Escapees

This is dangerous, slightly. For a while I was under the protection in that season, not really. 
When one gets so drawn into one thing, I guess it's kinda difficult to withdraw. Much akin to drugs, getting out can be quite uncomfortable, sometimes even painful. 
Where I am now, I gaze upon the entire process. How I used to be annoyed by overboard persistence, how I think I became like that myself, and how I realized I had become like that. The perks of going through such- is probably empathy. At least for now, I could say that I know how it must have felt. 
Escapade mentality. I see many of such on television, and I'm probably very amazed how it maps over to reality. Addiction, computer games, drugs, gambling, anything that takes away the attention for that moment. It's momentary, which explains why people tend to overdose in hope of prolonging those moments. These moments seemingly provide the doors out, from problems, from life, from many things. Do we not know their temporal nature? Of course we do! Primary school teaches that, Secondary school cautions us against that, parent advises against that, the society even condemns that. It's an unfortunate trend that as one grows older, the measure becomes more "autocratic". Perhaps "desperate" would fit in better. Yet, as it seems, many continue to fall in the face of such preventive measures. Scholars study them well and come out with explanations, theories and perceivably 'solutions'. Statistics show that "blah blah blah~" and that endless pursuit of control reveals a pathetic void. Sometimes we just need the simplest of things- a hug, a smile, a simple "thank you", a kind advice, a word of encouragement, or even the sheer presence of someone whom matters. Life is not that complicated, but the world makes it so. Research has shown that smiling improves productivity/service. So it goes, and they continue to complicate things. The notion of hypocrisy- perhaps it all starts with the desire to make or replicate, instead of the "be". 
I am a bad victim myself. I thank God that I am no addict. I ever questioned why- why do I spend so much time on computer games when I don't think I'm finding joy of fulfillment in them. In fact sometimes I was even frustrated by it, and yet the time dedication were made. On deeper thoughts, I guess I probably was not trying to gain, but to lose. Unfortunately, many people overlook this before casting their votes of condemnation. "Why are you doing this?" "Why don't you blah blah blah~"  Judgment calls came and went, people tried to probe but was never really capable of going beyond the superficial. "Yea, yea, I have too much time and I just want to waste it away... (sarcasm)". Time continues to seep through my loosen grip, the to-do list continues to grow, and the need for escapade continues to soar. Irony, helplessness consumes many. 
Am I so weak that I have to be sucked into this? Perhaps, but just a few months/years back I was there too, looking at another helpless guy thinking why couldn't he...

John 8:32

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

M.Y. Cell

Some months back, I decided upon a cell name for my cell. Convicted by the significance of names, especially its prophetic nature, I took a long time to finally make that decision. 
"M.Y Cell", an abbreviation for aM Yours, is a declaration of ownership and one of submission. That this is my group of brothers and sisters whom I am committed to walk with and to grow alongside, this is my God who loves me and whom I love; and individually we find our identity in You- that indeed I am Yours, wholly.
That seemed like a good name, and perceivably provided a good direction, yet for a long time I did not know how. It took a friendly poke for me to realize that perhaps my expectations might have been too unreasonable; or perhaps one reliance on Him for that name has set me off on an undesirable independence. 
31st July, a self-declared me-day had not gone according to plan, but at its closure, I got this:
John 17:10
"All I have is Yours, and all You have is mine. And glory has come to me through them."
Indeed these sheep whom I always claimed, are Yours. Who am I, that You would choose to light my way. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling, and you told me who I am. 
I am Yours! 
Teach me and help me; in building and in growing, let it all be done on the cross. Let Your presence be the inspiration(source) and reminder of our reliance upon You. Amen!

aM.Yours Cell