55- Blessed New Year

Daddy,
Blessed new year. Though I can't really comprehend how life on Your side is being calibrated, I wish You a blessed new year in earth's term, just as how we would alway sing "Blessed be Your Name". 
Frequent listening had once tired my ears; and now frequent talking has numbed my mouth. Perhaps I really just want to keep it short and sweet- or perhaps I really need a break, even though I have always said that I am having it right now. 
2012 is a new beginning, and unlike previous years, I really do have the conviction that 2012 is going to be a very exciting year. It seems to hold a lot of promises- promises to breakthrough, promises to grow, promises to gain a foothold, promises to establish. Lord, please continue to reveal Your plan to help us with our pursuits. Some time back, "pursuit" was changed to "seek", so Lord, I pray for a revelation. Reveal Your purpose to us so that we can pursue it.
Lord, as things become flatter and more obvious, please help me to prioritize. Help me to focus on the things You want me to focus on, and if it means a bit of sacrifice, Lord, so be it. If relationships require urgent mending, turn my head towards it, if a void requires urgent filling, divert my attention to it. Lord, whatever it is, may Your plan be fulfilled on earth as it is in Heaven. 
Today, I want to continue with my prayer. Lord, if it is Your purpose to will me into this position, Lord, help me. Grant me the gifts to help me in this ministry, help me to fulfill that responsibility and Lord, work through me so that these young lives will undergo the proper and good development. If I am not the one, Lord, I pray for Your guidance. I pray for Your revelation or the right candidate. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen!

Your child,

Judah

A stride into the new year;
Shattered pride, reduced fear.
In You I trust,
Follow You I must!

Psalm 130: 5
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope."

57- countdown

58- reaffirmed

Daddy,
Today reaffirmed where I desire to commit my time to. 24 hours cut up like a pie, some hours to sleep, some to eat, and a portion of it to shower and do other things. I had dinner with mommy and that was some awesome time spent together- all smiles and all laughters! 
School was a dread, and I really felt like staying away from it as much as possible before the new semester began, but a promise is a promise, and I thank God for my sister to remind me of that. That once again reaffirmed my desire to head home- a small home, a bit overcrowded, dust and noise from the construction work definitely don't help, but that's my home, a home I have stayed in for 20 years (going 21), a home where my 61 years old mommy stays, where an annoying 21 (going 22) sister resides, where a semi-transparent 63 hers old  papa lives with us. It's not the best home, nor the most cosy, neither the most comfortable, but it's just my home. This is the last semester I will stay in hall, and Lord, I really pray that this one semester You'll prepare me. Grant me all the discipline that I need to study at home, especially after my sister graduates next year. Help me to recover the responsible me, to really be responsible for all the gifts You've bestowed me, the gift of time, the gift of relations, and all the gifts that You will reveal to me. 
Lord, I continue to commit myself to You, the taking up of the new leadership. While today's bidding round did not include me, Lord, I continue to trust and await Your voice. If the modules I have selected are of You, grant me the peace and help me to study them well. If it's of Your plan to move me to be with the younger kids, my prayer holds, and I pray for Your affirmation, through the revelation of a gift. Help me to pray for them! 
Lord, I had an impression that compels me to open my mouth, for I am doubtful as to how I would know if You have given it to me. Yet Lord, Your ways are not my ways, and I can only place my trust in Your timing, that if it has already been given, I will know. So Lord, keep me and guard me, and help me know if You've spoken! 
In Jesus's name I pray,
Amen!

Your child,

Judah

Fearful child in the midst of a lost world;
Seemingly mild, the ways threw him into a whirl.
Fire and Cloud, the Father guides;
As had been vowed, Lord Jesus's bride.

Deuteronomy 31: 8
"The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you;
He will never leave you nor forsake you."

59- readjustment

Daddy God,
(can You pretend to not have seen this over my shoulder before I post this out, it kinda removes a little thrill from the supposed-letter to You)
The break is coming to an end. As much as I have enjoyed this break and this availability, it is also a genuine thought that this is very well one of the last holiday that I have before I secure the basic competencies certificates. For that, I just pray for a Godly attitude to sustain me for another extended run before the next break.
Yesterday I had a positive session with You. Thank You for helping me with all my various troubles and struggles, and today I will just continue to ask. My focuses for 2012 are my walk with You, church, and studies! So Lord, I pray for You to imprint upon my heart what I have decided and may You always be a part of my considerations! Lord, keep me close and be in every decision that I make!
I continue to ask for You to reveal Your gifts for me! And as the days pass, and as the date to make the final call nears, I pray for Your assurance and affirmation that everything and all things are for You and for Your purpose! Lord, by You I can do all things! 
In Jesus's most precious name I pray,
Amen!

Your child,

Judah

A gaze up the sky;
marvel of Your works in my eyes.
The children's faith;
Ye hope I hath.

Proverbs 3: 5
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

60- reoriented

Daddy,
Why is it so complicated? I am only twenty, at best twenty-one in 60 days time, but the thoughts are way beyond. I guess I am getting tired of the rejection- a reckless rejection on my side to choose to not see what I was meant to, to choose to no listen what I ought to. "Let go." "LET GO!" Coming to 4 years, during which course the call had sounded so many times. Lord, if that is what You have for me, I know You will provide me with the strength to do so. Yes Lord, I pray for the kind of liberation Charm had with You. Help me with that kind of soothing, and fill that void with Your purpose and will for my life. 
Maybe she had already said no, instead of being not ready. 
2011 is coming to a pleasant closure. Eye irritation aside, and the unpleasant stints of soreness aside, I am thankful for this intensity, the seemingly event-filled December. It set me thinking, reflecting, and spurred me for a closer walk. Yes Lord, pull me closer to You!
Right now Lord, I just want to commit these things in prayer. Lord, grant me wisdom and help me to deliberate, even more so to identify Your voice. I have planned out my schedule and have had my mind set on various directions, so if these are of You, I pray for You to show it to me. The modules that I am going to take for the next semester. Lord, it's a crumbling experience, and I thank You for breaking me down in the first semester. It's so bad, but yet, You made it just nice to meet to bare minimum to qualify for that major, so yes Lord, I have had my mind set on Psychology, and I pray that the coming semester as I explore deeper into this field, You'll continue to keep me and help me not deviate away from Your teaching, and maintain a Godly attitudes even in face of any disagreement sciences might have with Your Words. So Lord, if the 5 that I have chosen are not from You, may Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven!
Lord, as the church transits, I just want to acknowledge Your goodness upon All Saints! Lord, You have been a marvelous Miracle-Maker! Thank You for all the blessings You've bestowed upon the church through them! I thank you for Bernard and Jeanne, this pair of siblings to really set the youth group into motion again! Poiema (masterpiece) as we are called, Lord I pray for You to continue to mould us and guide us from where we have halted and became stagnated. Lord, as we step into a new year, I pray for the new leadership, and pray for Your hands to move in this transition. It may be tough but You are all-able, and You alone can make it smooth! Yet, may Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven!
Lord, as I ponder over the offer, I got reminded on various past experiences. Just like the sharing yesterday, Lord, indeed You have known me even before I came to know You, and You have been at work way before! She said I killed it, so I must have killed it, and that was already a blatant "no". Charm mentioned about the liberating feelings, and I think I felt it a little just now! Thank You Father! As I ponder over the offer to take up leadership and cross into the younger ministry, Lord remove all my doubts. I might deliberate and complain about the responsibility, the time, the commitment, and even my influence on new sprouting lives, but Lord, it's Your will that will ultimately be fulfilled. Few months back, A.T told me that he could sense that I have a lot of gifts, and while I only asked about them once in a while, Lord, this time round I'm just gonna commit it to You! You know my struggle to maintain a healthy prayer life, so Lord, I pray for the gift of tongues. Lord, You will help me to pray for these kids if this is Your will. Lord, grant me the burden for the young! Help me to grow, and help me to help them grow.
Yet, may Your will be done on earth as in Heaven!
In Jesus's name I pray,
Amen!

Your child,

Judah

Into Your hands,

my life will land.

The new year embarks;

Your plan's fire sparks!

Day by day, a mystery unfolds;

Your goodness and Your way, beyond what we could hold!

Job 42: 2

"I know You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted."

63- traditionally conventional; conventionally traditional

Daddy, 
I guess sometimes it's appropriate to let loose a little bit? To let ourselves run wild- emotions, thoughts, maybe even actions. 
Traditionally, I love Christmas eve, more than Christmas itself. It's weird, because in my world the best part of Christmas actually stops when the occasion really begins- to me, everything ends with the countdown. That was how I had viewed it for a large part of my childhood, with Christmas being just another public holiday of not-knowing-to-do-what. That has since departed me, and the knowledge of the true Christmas story meant so much! 
Today is the eve, and I haven't particularly been giving much thoughts to anything. Holidays are coming to an end, and while I live by my conviction of the necessity to have a nothing-moment once in a while, things have to be geared up gradually already. 
Lord, please take over the steering wheel, and let this be less of my doing and more of Your guiding.
BGR issues continue to be a grey.
Today, I just want to keep the mission fields in prayer. These are all excellent works of Yours. While the world undergoes through another turbulent period, Lord, will You please just guard Your own works. These are Your children, and I pray for You to grant this compassion of Yours upon many more. Raise up the new generation to venture and takeover these many harvest fields of Yours! In the most backward nations, Your love is demonstrated. For in our weaknesses, Your strength is shown. So Lord, will You continue to move things in these fields. Your presence will flow, and Your might shown. People will see and hear, and they will come to know of Your love and Your grace. Lord, bless these people, Your children.
In Jesus's most precious name I pray,
Amen!

Your child,

Judah

Time flies, man tries;
To reverse time, a surreal chime.
Sunlight eclipses dawn,
The season of hope arrives at my lawn.

Luke 10: 2
"He told them, 'the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.
Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.'"

64- forgiven and forgotten

Daddy,
I thank You for helping me start small. That reluctance to not want to dwell on past grievance, needless to say to carry it across into even another day. Frankly, I don't know how far I am from You now, but at least I think I am still talking to You; at least, I know You hear me even when I am doubtful. 
I think I know why I like family movies. Feel-good factors aside, it's realistic enough to allow us to examine ourselves- our relationships, our values, our lives, ourselves literally. We bought a Zoo blew me away again, and I think You spoke again. Certain things we let go- something we have loved so much always seem to infiltrate every new grounds we gain as we attempt to run away from it. It's not an attempt or a try, but a changing perspective. She's ready to go, just like Siba was ready to go, and my selfish reason to retain it will only make this relationship tough for her, and tough for myself to maintain it. Help me raise a commemoration board in my heart, and let all of these settle down into the deep corners of the memories trove. Lord, lead me and guide me, for You have the best for me. Let me not worry about these nor that. Celibacy or not, by Your timing and Your will, may Your plan unfold!
I pray for the world today, Lord. As it undergoes calamities and changes of all kinds, Lord, may Your love be felt amongst the people. Let these be opportunities for You to draw these people back to Your embrace as the end-time closes in. 
In Jesus's name I pray,
Amen!

Your child,

Judah

Love is in the air;
Let go of the past I could not bear.
20 seconds of insane courage;
Your strength and presence helped me manage.
A step back I took to see beyond the dot;
Ask me why I love, I answer why not.

John 15: 9
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.
Now remain in my love"