60- reoriented

Daddy,
Why is it so complicated? I am only twenty, at best twenty-one in 60 days time, but the thoughts are way beyond. I guess I am getting tired of the rejection- a reckless rejection on my side to choose to not see what I was meant to, to choose to no listen what I ought to. "Let go." "LET GO!" Coming to 4 years, during which course the call had sounded so many times. Lord, if that is what You have for me, I know You will provide me with the strength to do so. Yes Lord, I pray for the kind of liberation Charm had with You. Help me with that kind of soothing, and fill that void with Your purpose and will for my life. 
Maybe she had already said no, instead of being not ready. 
2011 is coming to a pleasant closure. Eye irritation aside, and the unpleasant stints of soreness aside, I am thankful for this intensity, the seemingly event-filled December. It set me thinking, reflecting, and spurred me for a closer walk. Yes Lord, pull me closer to You!
Right now Lord, I just want to commit these things in prayer. Lord, grant me wisdom and help me to deliberate, even more so to identify Your voice. I have planned out my schedule and have had my mind set on various directions, so if these are of You, I pray for You to show it to me. The modules that I am going to take for the next semester. Lord, it's a crumbling experience, and I thank You for breaking me down in the first semester. It's so bad, but yet, You made it just nice to meet to bare minimum to qualify for that major, so yes Lord, I have had my mind set on Psychology, and I pray that the coming semester as I explore deeper into this field, You'll continue to keep me and help me not deviate away from Your teaching, and maintain a Godly attitudes even in face of any disagreement sciences might have with Your Words. So Lord, if the 5 that I have chosen are not from You, may Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven!
Lord, as the church transits, I just want to acknowledge Your goodness upon All Saints! Lord, You have been a marvelous Miracle-Maker! Thank You for all the blessings You've bestowed upon the church through them! I thank you for Bernard and Jeanne, this pair of siblings to really set the youth group into motion again! Poiema (masterpiece) as we are called, Lord I pray for You to continue to mould us and guide us from where we have halted and became stagnated. Lord, as we step into a new year, I pray for the new leadership, and pray for Your hands to move in this transition. It may be tough but You are all-able, and You alone can make it smooth! Yet, may Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven!
Lord, as I ponder over the offer, I got reminded on various past experiences. Just like the sharing yesterday, Lord, indeed You have known me even before I came to know You, and You have been at work way before! She said I killed it, so I must have killed it, and that was already a blatant "no". Charm mentioned about the liberating feelings, and I think I felt it a little just now! Thank You Father! As I ponder over the offer to take up leadership and cross into the younger ministry, Lord remove all my doubts. I might deliberate and complain about the responsibility, the time, the commitment, and even my influence on new sprouting lives, but Lord, it's Your will that will ultimately be fulfilled. Few months back, A.T told me that he could sense that I have a lot of gifts, and while I only asked about them once in a while, Lord, this time round I'm just gonna commit it to You! You know my struggle to maintain a healthy prayer life, so Lord, I pray for the gift of tongues. Lord, You will help me to pray for these kids if this is Your will. Lord, grant me the burden for the young! Help me to grow, and help me to help them grow.
Yet, may Your will be done on earth as in Heaven!
In Jesus's name I pray,
Amen!

Your child,

Judah

Into Your hands,

my life will land.

The new year embarks;

Your plan's fire sparks!

Day by day, a mystery unfolds;

Your goodness and Your way, beyond what we could hold!

Job 42: 2

"I know You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted."