27-what?

Daddy,
Last Sunday's sermon talked about mana, and when translated it literally means what. With "what" You've fed Your people for over 40 years, and right now I think I'm stuffed with too much "what". Doubt kills faith, and when I asked if You are there, does that mean my faith is dying? I certainly hope not. 
The book mentioned about Your faithfulness, that I have been holding meaningful and wonderful conversations with You despite my ignorance because You hear us even before we open our mouth. Well, that's biblical, but I guess it's difficult to be genuinely convinced. I, for one, am still struggling.
Lord, I thank You for the 3 days. 3 days away from blog, but 3 days closer to people. Wonderful reunion dinner with the usually 'invisible' people exposed the struggles many less fortunate people, including the intellectually challenged ones, face especially in this faith; discussion with J reveals the constant strive to hit a balance between trying to be a Martha and trying to be Mary; and these many christians that have been placed in so many areas in my life only encourage and assure me of my walk in this faith. It is difficult, but it is fun at the same time. There are so much insight, so much realizations.
As I dwell on the book of 2 Chronicles, the story portrays a striking contrast of what our church is going through. 
Lord, as I come before You. I humbly bow my head and pray that You will speak to me. I am desperate to hear You and I yearn for Your presence. I continue to ask for the gifts and revelation from You but all these, may Your will be done. Let me walk in ways that are pleasing in Your eyes and keep me on this narrow path, that whatever initiatives of mine would be adopted as a purpose of Yours. Lord, keep me and sustain me.
I continue to pray for this new cell and pray for Your wisdom upon us as to what ought to be done.
The earlier entry was erased for whatever reason, but if You want to speak Lord, make sure I hear it.
In Jesus's most precious name I pray,
Amen!

Your child,

Judah

Seated on an oversized bench;
Tiny legs dangle over swinging to and fro,
Over uncertainty the legs dangle.
Colorful bench;
the greyscale I see with my eyes.
I'm a grumpy old boy,
my eyes fixed on that doubt.
Gently I've waited, and there have been times my inside fumes.
Yet I continue to wait for the thirst within continues to tug on that Holy discontent.

Psalm 27: 8
"My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek."