I feel far and detached, even unworthy, or sometimes numbed. It seems like an impossibility, and often the human heart simply just refuses to care anymore. One day of an awesome encounter, then interval with a few not so awesome ones, and a final breaking point to mend the brokenness. I feel like the Israelites of the old, those whom Moses led, those whom had seen Your prowess but each time chose to return to their old ways. In some ways, I even attributed it to the abstractness of You in this life- so much reliance on my conviction that the may-not-be-You to be You. It is difficult, really, very...
Daddy,
Will You just help me? Now that I feel a wretched child; the unworthiness and the obliviousness overshadowing any form of passion. I am licking my own wounds, and grinning at the apparent pain. It seems evil, for the melancholy and the apathy to dwell and harbor within. It feels evil, but the latter of the two seeks to reconcile, in a dangerous way. Lord, will You just take over.
In Christ's love, Judah
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| Every season and every story; Your faithfulness reveals Your glory. An unopened eye; "why!" the children pry. A forgetful mind; yet You've come to find. Judges 3: 7 "The Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord; they forgot the Lord their God and served the Baals and the Asherahs." |
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