The subject that I am intending to major in is so grey and dark, within this first 2 weeks of lessons, they are already telling us unfortunate phenomenon/reality that is happening in real time- that at a certain point in time, people realize that they are no longer this special individual but a part of a bigger group; that being realistic and practical often means forsaking dreams and releasing hope.
I think I am afraid. The video today drove me to take down a lot of notes, but on a personal level, my engines have still yet to warm up. I do not want to be like the previous semester, or even the large part of the earlier life. The high-flyer story remains a myth and will probably cease to exist if it is not fulfilled. Past promises, complacency? Just a few years back I was looking at the likes of Yale university, but now I'm in NUS and struggling to do well. I don't think I have become dumber, but this fall only allowed me to assess myself better. It has not been my ability, but Your grace to had seen me flew so high for so long. But now I have come to You, why must that grace disappear? I once was that child whom people envy- no study is an A, study is an A+. Why has it all been taken? I know I haven't been hardworking at all, but I haven't changed a bit. Lord, help me to cut myself away from the glorious past. Those annual awards, those heights mean nothing today. I am drowning in this water. Lord, show me Your reason, and show me Your plan.
Ask and it will be given. So Lord, here I am to bow before You. I kept saying I have entered a season, but just as I have had one leg into this season, I have began to wavered. Lord, strengthen my faith to help me keep up with You. I am weak, but my Lord is strong, so Lord help my heart to yearn for You. Help me to be satisfied in You. And each time I cry out to You Lord, please hear me, and impress anything upon me hard.
Lord, I pray for revelation for novelty, for the embarkation of this new journey. I pray for our cell and pray for the works to be of Yours. I thank You for this opportunity to impact lives, but Lord, will You just speak and teach us. Teach us Your ways. Teach us Your purpose. Teach us Your plan. I hereby commit Joseph, Benjamin, Timothy, Keith, Ryan and Eleanor into Your hands. Lord, You will guard Your children, and may Your presence be upon them. That they will grow mightily strong in You, and keep their hearts that they will always cling to You in these lives. Lord, build all of us up and may we be mightily used by You to do Your works and may Your joy be with us now and forever.
Lord, I pray for myself. You see my struggle. You know all my pain and discomfort even before I present any of them before You. Lord, will You just keep me. What I need I do not know, but I call out to Your name, Lord Jesus. And I trust that You will take care of my needs and help me for You are the Provider and the Encourager. Lord, speak Lord.
In Jesus's name I pray,
Amen!
In Christ's love,
Judah
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| O Lord, it hurts; desperate call I could not understand. The Holy feet stepped onto the dirt, a love we cannot comprehend. Honks and vrooms, the charging crowd pushes humanity to an oversight of God toward a life that slogs away; breeze and light, in the silences the grace of the Lord helps us to look beyond the apparent to set our eyes upon His way. John 15: 19 "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. |
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